


But what could she tell them ?

by A_D_P



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: A little bit of everybody perspective, Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm not sure how many chapters this will have, Inuyasha and Kouga fight again, Inuyasha and Shippou both agree to take care of their Kagome, Kouga need to slow down his courting, Nudity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Sango can count on Miroku to support her, Sexual Content, Swearing, Team Bonding, True Friendship, Trust Issues, fool langage, how to deal with the hurtful stuff, its hard to talk about what happened, story under construction, the Inugang is worried about Kagome, the author is leaving small cues along the story leading to why Kagome is not the same, the rape is not described in details, what is going on with Kagome ?, what would each one of the group do for her sake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_D_P/pseuds/A_D_P
Summary: Something was off with their Kagome. When she had returned to the Feudal Era from her usual few days in her time for some exams, the Inugang know that there's something wrong. Will she tell them what? If yes, how so?





	1. What was going on with their Kagome ?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RevolverOtaconAj2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RevolverOtaconAj2/gifts), [kyoties](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoties/gifts), [kinera](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kinera).



> Hi, 
> 
> I was feeling dark a little, so I wrote this.  
> It's my first work in this Fandom, but I guess it's not going to be the last.  
> As always, kudos, comments, and suggestions are always appreciated.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: This story is beta-read by RevolverOtaconAj2, who's one of the awesome and marvelous persons to whom I'd like to gift this story... but I hope you all know that his story would have stayed for longer in my head if you had never given me so many encouragements, trust and tricks! So THANK YOU kindly and I hope you'll always enjoy this fanfiction.

When Kagome came back, it was Miroku who thought he was the first to know that something had gone awry.  
If you asked Miroku what was typically Kagome, he would humbly but with a slight chuckle, answer “ a beautiful young girl in a revealing uniform” and jape that in her time women had lost all sense of decency…And like clockwork Sango would justifiably punch him. After all, right now, each and every body part of the girl coming from the future was hidden under a new attire the miko had put on for no obvious reasons. 

The monk was perhaps a perverted one, but he was also a logical enough man and knew it was nothing more than a deception...That, unsurprisingly if you knew the lech, was the first hint to him that she wasn’t all right because it was a little bit strange. The end of the summer was drawing near but it was still harboring a comfortable enough weather…There was no reason for her future customs to change this quickly. There was no reason for her to change so quickly. She surely was hiding something. Miroku thought to himself, while finally lighting the fire pit.

But if he was being serious, his answer to the question “What is typically this girl?” would be that the miko could either shine through with either a warm easy compassionate smile or with him or Inyuasha especially, a molten fire of explosive anger. And this...This was the crux of why he was at an absolute loss. Neither her burning anger nor that equally fierce happiness was to be found when she returned from her last few days in her world. 

Everyone was excited, Shippo, as if having a death wish, was annoying Inuyasha constantly with his constant whining... though to be honest he always seems much more irritable when the one he was considering like his adoptive mother wasn’t there with him.   
Miroku didn’t need to be particularly wise to know the reason why.

She had told them the exact time she was going to be back, so when they met near the well, like bees to honey the four of them happily swarmed Kagome, buzzing with noise. Miroku had flirted, Sango gave him a black eye before trying to begin a conversation with a tiny smile rarely seen yet not so dissimilar to Kagome’s own, Shippo excitedly hugged her ankle and told Kagome about all she missed, and Inuyasha had grouchily complained though Miroku knew that he didn’t mean it and would stutter through an apology later anyway.

That was when Miroku noticed some rather unsettling things about her appearance. There were dark circles under Kagome’s eyes and he could tell that they were not going away anytime soon.

She was also too pale and skittish, and unless she was spoken to directly was awfully silent. Even some of Inuyasha’s usual distinctive lack of manners, tact, and basic graces were not enough to make her react the way she always used to. But at the same time, she was stiff as a stick regardless of time of day, making Miroku worry. It was so unlike her…

Yes, there was something really wrong with Kagome. The monk was worried but kept a positive attitude. If their friend wanted to talk about it, she would, in her own time.

Miroku was perhaps a pervert, (Well, absolutely a pervert) but after spending nearly his entire life wandering aimlessly, he was now too deeply attached to their little group to see one of them so down without knowing what to do…It was bothering him and he was not the only one to be worried. One look to Sango, and he could see the same wondering questions in her eyes, the same resolve to be there for their friend.  
________  
Sango knew something was off about her friend when she asked to do a part of the road on Kirara’s back straight away, her voice low and shy, looking at her feet. That voice had nothing to do with their strong miko, but perhaps that she was very tired…

Maybe something had happened to her family, that she had an argument with her other friends from her world, that she had to redo a test she had failed no matter how hard she had studied for it… But when the demon slayer asked her friend if she was all right, Kagome just nodded, eyes glued to the ground. Lying never was the miko’s forte and the fact that she felt the need to lie was worrying Sango. Both girls, despite obvious differences in their walks of life, had always been so open with each other, even when talking about the most scandalous embarrassing things. The only time Kagome was keeping things to herself was when she wanted not to make everyone worried…

Sango knew that there was no way to make the one she was beginning to genuinely consider as the sister she never had, talk about what was eating her, but she assured her that if she chose to, she could ride on the fire cat for as long as she liked and that if she wanted to talk, she would be there to listen, but in her head, her brain was going through panicked gymnastics. It was not making any sense for Kagome to ask for a ride on Kirara’s back…. It was... Unusual. 

Even when her bike was broken, she would usually be walking for a while and Inuyasha would gruffly propose her to up on his back if he saw her being tired, arguing that “weak humans” were slowing him down, but they all knew that it was his way to keep her close to him and to increase the pace so they could set the camp before dark. The demon slayer glanced and briefly stole a look at Inuyasha’s confused and hurt face when Kagome climbed on Sango’s companion.

A confused Inuyasha was definitely not a rare phenomenon, but for once, they were three to be confused by their friend’s behavior.  
___________  
Being the one to hunt for his little pack, Inuyasha knew how much everyone was eating. 

Shippou was a dark hole, but it was more because he loved food than because he needed it. Miroku, Sango, and Kagome were usually eating approximately the same amount of food, except when the human females were in their period. In those moments, the demonic instincts (and the threat of the dreaded chant “Sit boy!”) of the hanyou were screaming at him to find them more meat and he was doing just that. The thing was that lately, Kagome was eating less than usual, and she was not smelling sick, so it couldn’t be that. The girl was playing with her food and her plate was often finished by Shippo.

Inuyasha’s nose never let him down and he could smell that something was not right with his Kagome. First, there was this stench of fear and insecurity covering her more often than before. It was a scent the half-demon was used to, but not on her, not at this frequency and certainly not for nothing. 

She was also smelling more strongly of that thing she was calling soap for it to be natural. It was covering her own natural scent, and he didn’t like it, not at all. Now more than often the salty smell of fresh tears that was now too often surrounding her.There was also the way she was almost not sitting him. He was glad not to be sat as often as usual—who would not be, right?—, but the way she was speaking when she indeed did sited him? It was mechanical and empty. Many times, a haunted gaze was following and Inuyasha’s heart was doing uncomfortable backflips until it was reaching his stomach.

And not riding on his back! If she was tired, the wench could just say so, right? Then he could have her close, feel her breathing and keep her safe and sound. It was not as if she had never fall asleep on the road or that he never had to tucked her to bed because she was exhausted, so why would that stubborn wench had not asked him to carry her?! There was something wrong with his Kagome and it was seriously getting on his nerves. Why wasn’t she telling them what was the matter? Was it something they did or said?  
Inuyasha, not knowing what to do to cheer her up had made a detour just to be able to propose her a soak in the hot springs she usually was so fond of…but the enthusiastic answer he was counting on never came.

“I…I don’t really need to stop, Inuyasha.”

At that moment, he could have been told that his asshole of a brother was nice and he would have been less lost.

“What?!”

“I just…don't feel like it, that’s all. I’m just tired.” Kagome tried to laugh it off but it came out weak and ready. “I guess… I’ll go to sleep now. Goodnight everyone.”

The half-demon wanted to shout, to scream, to…to do something, dammit! What was it with his Kagome that even the little kit with his childish mind was looking at the adult with the same question in his eyes: What was wrong with Kagome?  
____________  
Shippou was a young child but he was not stupid. He was seeing those looks that the other adults were exchanging and the way Kagome was not herself. 

Recently, Inuyasha had spoken loudly and screamed at him for tricking the grumpy Inu again, which was nothing unusual, really, but they both saw the miko’s apparent discomfort. Curled on herself, she was trying not to shake. Loud sounds near her would make her feel uneasy, so both of them tried not to repeat the experience, no matter if they were on the hunt or at Kaede’s village.

Same with arriving suddenly behind the girl to surprise her. The one time the kit tried, he was met by a frightened face and a punch that he managed to dodge but still… That look of shock on Kagome’s face was something Shippou never wanted to see again.  
As a result, the kit tried to be extra attentive to her, often proposing to do small things for his adoptive mother. “Would you enjoy a back rub?” He asked constantly. Her shoulders were so tense! Could he play with her hair and make nice braids? She was often doing it to soothe him, so it should work, right? What if he was going to gather wood and make a small fire for her to warm up? She was often shivering as if cold had settled in her bones… Inuyasha had seen it too, and more often than not, he was lending her his firerat, which was helping, but still.

Kagome had always been cuddly. She was prompt to hug, fast to sooth and smile and tease…but now, she was looking as if one simple thing could break her. Sometimes, she would randomly open her arms to him with pleading eyes and the kitsune was fast to jump into her embrace. In those moments, he knew she was trying not to tremble, but he could feel her fail and his heart was breaking. She had helped avenging his father, saved him, offered him a pack, a family and him, what the hell could he do to help her when she needed it the most? Nothing much and it was killing him. Kitsunes are naturally curious demons, and when concerned, they are often becoming obsessive...True to his nature, the little fox was not letting his brain take a break, always wondering what was wrong enough to wreck their Kagome on so many levels...

What was it that was costing Kagome her sleep and peace of mind? What was wrong with Kagome that even Inuyasha was unable to defend her from, that even Sango could not slay, that even Miroku could not take away with his wind tunnel?


	2. Could she be the old Kagome again one day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome take a look at her return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually, I'm not in favor of short chapters, but this work seems to construct itself better this way, so yeah, many short chapters are to come...
> 
> And sadly, Koga will not appear in this chapter yet as I first planned.

The last few days had been hard on Kagome. That was the most massive of understatements to say the least. Just a few days before coming back, she was bustling with excitement. Even hearing the increasing rare and bizarre ailments her grandfather was coming up with had brought her untold joy weirdly enough, with the anxiousness of the exam being offset by the giddy excitement at finally getting back to her friends and to what she had claimed like her second home fareway from her first one. When she had planned her week in her modern time-period, it was all so simple: she was going to enjoy a few normal days with her family, pass her exam, get more supplies to restock her horrible yellow bag and go back to the other side of the well. Except, it hadn’t exactly gone as planned and now, now that she had indeed find her way back to the past and to her friends, she almost wished she had not. 

Yet now that it happened, getting back had been horrible and she felt nothing but pain. No matter how relieved she was to see Inuyasha’s reassuring red-cladded figure standing near the well, waiting for her loyally as usual, her heart was beating a torturous erratic pounding that threatened to burst a hole in it. The fact that she was desperately praying for him not to mention or notice her smell didn’t make the sick feeling in her stomach go away either… Mainly because she could not find it in her to tell him why she had washed so much that she had drowned her natural scent with her favorite soap. He did not mention it, but to her horror, she knew he had taken note of it. Obviously, with his sensitive nose, there was little she could hide from him… Except if she was trying her best by drowning it with too much soap.

When they joined the rest of the group, she had tried to smile but knew the result was not convincing. She saw the perplexing look Miroku gave her when he saw what her uniform had been replaced by and for once blessed the monk in her head for wisely not asking her why. To expose less skin was the real answer, but it was not as if she could say that without giving any kind of explanations.  
Then, she had kept to herself the real reason behind her request to ride on Kirara’s back. She hated to lie to Sango, but she couldn’t just tell her friend that after what had happened to her she had been so sore she couldn’t walk or ride her bike for long without wincing in pain after a while. It took all the strength in her to just stand at all, almost tumbling over when Shippo held onto her ankle and hopped up and down. Even someone as young as him gave her a brief fear, though she successfully warmed to him after the brief thaw. But she could not tell him either why she has been so slow to engulf him in a well deserved loving hug and play with him like she usually would. She was not ready to say it. And Inuyasha, who had looked at her as if she had hurt him before emitting a typical keh sound and vaulting away to trace their path. Riding on his back was something she was used to, something she was oddly enjoying more than she let on, but from so close, he would be the first to smell her tears if she were to cry. He would feel her shivers and tremble as she held tightly onto his shoulders, and the part that made Kagome cringe the most was the idea that her already weak legs would be even sorer, just by the touch alone. So, reluctantly, for her own sake, she asked to ride with Kirara instead.

She was a fool to think that she could hide anything from them. She knew it was futile, that her friends were worried about her, truly she did, but she was feeling too fragile, almost like one of those glass dolls Kagome had as a kid. And later on, she could not explain that no matter how tempting a trip to the hot spring was, there was no way she could stand a chance of them seeing the marks, so she panicked and unconvincingly lied by claiming she was too tired. She was acting odd, she knew that, but what could she tell them without them believing she deserved it? It was a disgusting feeling that almost made Kagome want to gag at that irrational fear of betrayal.

How could she even begin to explain without being totally crushed by her feelings and memories? The girl was grateful that none of her traveling companions had asked her to talk about what happened. She wanted so much to forget, had tried her best to make that happen at home, having even gone to the extreme of use one of the remedies her grandfather concocted without telling him what was the matter but despite Kagome’s best, most desperate efforts, she could not and it was killing her on the inside, her misery rotting her on the inside like a corrosive venom. 

They all had let her know they were willing to listen to her if she wanted to talk about it, but what could she tell them? In her head, the words "not strong enough", "weak and pitiful" were pounding without pity… And she had no choice but to agree with her brain because otherwise, she would be able to explain to them what exactly was going on with her: why she was always feeling cold, why she needed her friends to stay with her, fearing any potential stranger. It didn’t matter if they were Youkai or not. At that point, her deeply roothed fears were not only related to the fact that her potential enemies would try to kill her to obtain the Shikon jewels she was protecting...it was much more nightmarish than that. 

Much darker and even more menacing, like treatorious shadows playing hide and seek in the madhouse of her memory, mixing old traumatic experiences with new one...Just like it was juxtaposing the memory of Mistress Centipede licking her face the first time she had travelled in the past with the well, with those of the attack she had been victim of. The centipede demon’s actions had made Kagome grossed out before but she rationalized that since it was a demonic being acting odd, it was to be expected. However, recalling the unwanted touch of a bloodthirsty youkai had been one of Kagome’s first thoughts after the incident...laced along with the fear of being left unable to protect herself, so now the miko was categorically refusing to wander around alone or to be too far from the others. 

Even if they were close, she needed them on sight because it was the only way for her to feel safe enough to function minimally. The girl from the future was not totally herself and she understood her companion’s worrying, but she was not ready to talk openly about why such brusk, well meaning moves were scaring her and why she found herself flinch too many times much to both her distaste and dismay... but she was feeling so ashamed and so dirty that the words were getting stuck in her throat, taking her breath away like a punch in the gut.

Now, everybody was worried about her. The only thing that could have been worse was the terrifying thought that they might find out. She saw their questioning glances, the way they were tip-toeing around her, letting her know. Even Shippou. 

The girl from the future was glad that each time she was opening her arms to the kitsune, he was hugging her as he had always done, strongly and lovingly. She was glad to even still be able to stand holding Shippou even after what had happened. The young one knew that something was wrong, but to Kagome’s relief, he just tried to cheer her up, paid attention to her reactions and kept her sane enough around him so maybe if she just forgot about it and pretended long enough she could try to be the same old Kagome from before again. Could it ever be like it was again, even for just one day?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! 
> 
> First, thanks for reading this work. I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter! 
> 
> The next one should be Kouga's appearance, I already began it. Initially, I wanted Kouga to come up in this chapter, but it was not working, so...

Miroku, no matter how much of a monk he was, was a man of action. Prayers and meditation were important, of course, but at the very moment, two weeks after Kagome’s return, those two things were not doing anything to help the miko. Day in, day out, day after day, he was seeing how affected the small group was by the situation.

One night, Sango had been worrying so much then she had silently joined him while he watched over their sleeping companions. Shippou was sleeping like a baby while Inuyasha grumbled in his sleep. However, the one he kept an eye on the most was Kagome, who seemed to tremble constantly. And this time he couldn’t even think of acting even slightly lecherous.

For a while, the only sound surrounding them were those of the forest. Finally, the silence was broken.

“I can’t sleep…”

She had simply said that while sitting beside him, with no big false yawn to tell the monk she was exactly content. The demon slayer didn’t need to add the last part of her sentence, the monk had read her body language to know precisely why, and for once, his cursed hand lightly positioned itself on Sango’s shoulder instead of on her butt. She flinched, obviously expecting the latter while he turned his head to look at her. Miroku saw the look of utter surprise on her face, he was not sure if he was doing the right thing due to the fact she was still so tense, but she didn’t slap him, so maybe that was a step in the right direction…

"You’re worried too." Miroku left that simple statement to hang in the air.

It was not a question, but Sango could have decided just to nod and he would have understood, but instead, she did something she had rarely done before. That fierce woman who seemed so unbending and unbreakable finally dropped the act and pressed her shoulder against his. 

So there were things that were getting under her armor… And this time the chinks appeared to reveal the heart under her tough exterior. Miroku knew it, of course, but tended to forget it when he was just glancing at the feminine warrior currently trying not to cry in front of him. 

Sango was always so confident, so strong and powerful, hardly letting people see the more sensitive side of her, but apparently, she was trusting him enough to let him take a peek at that ferociously guarded part of her and while it made Miroku a little bit heartbroken that it took someone else's pain to reveal it, it also made the monk’s heart beat a little faster.

"I… I don’t know what I did wrong…"

That sentence was uttered in such a sad tone that it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been thrown on him. For once, Miroku didn't know what to do. You don’t flirt with someone that is having an emotional breakdown just to distract the person from what was also scaring you. In some situations, Miroku remembered himself. This was a matter of comfort first.

"Why do you think you did something wrong?" The monk replied carefully, striking a neutral tone.

"We’re…we were… so close, so open with each other. I mean, nothing we talked about was too silly or too embarrassing before she came back, you know. But since she returned…" Sango rambled on, her voice numbly shattering. "She’s not telling me anything…She…asked me to let her bath alone, for now, and she’s not confiding in me anymore, her laugh sound forced and fake. What could it be that she doesn’t tell us, Miroku?"

Miroku had numerous theories, none of them particularly good but he was afraid that sharing them would make Sango burst into tears, and quite frankly that was not something he wanted to see.

"Well, she doesn’t act like that when she’s mad at Inuyasha…and she didn’t slap you…so I think it’s just that she doesn’t feel ready to talk about it." That was all correct so that eased the monk's guilt for stalling. “but you’re right, my dear Sango-" Miroku would have slapped his own face on that stupid line if it wasn’t somehow helping Sango feel better.

"Kagome’s behavior is indeed worrying."

"Keh, the wench is clearly not gonna fucking telling us, but the monk’s right. I don’t want to end up with my face eating dirt again and if she begins to cry…"

Inuyasha’s voice made them jump. He clearly had heard them from the tree he had been trying to sleep on to no avail since he too had been worried sick. The hanyou was right though and they were stuck in a situation none of them was liking.  
__________  
Kagome was no longer as talkative as she used to and was often trying to keep her hands busy. The tedium was obviously leaving the poor teenager alone with her thoughts and that was a no go. Seeing that, whenever the Inugang would set camp somewhere and that there was nothing else to do for the miko, Kirara had picked up the habit to climb on Kagome's lap and to sit there purring and rubbing her face against Kagome's hands until she would give in and happily pet the neko. 

The feline demon wanted to help, even if she knew that distracting the human from her pain was not a small deal, she was determined. Kirara was fully aware that small gifts could help one to be distracted from their pain, so she was trying to find and bring offerings for the girl, like those aromatic herbs she used to cook with or the fish she was able to catch, sometimes with Shippou’s help, a small smile and a few scratches being her reward.

The kit too had been adamant that he wanted his adoptive mother back the way she was before. For a few days, he had been hesitant, but one night, he approached Inuyasha, heart beating fast but chin up. The fox had already realized that he needed to stop provoking Inuyasha in order to help Kagome, but that was still not enough, so the kitsune decided to take a part of the matter into his small hands. Approaching the hanyou would not be easy, but for once, it was up to the youngest member of the small pack to convince his leader that he could be useful too.

"What do you want, brat?"

Arms crossed on his chest, the red-cladded figure was harboring the kind of expression that was screaming that it was not a good time to annoy the shit out of him. The inu’s glance made the atmosphere heavy and his voice was not showing any patience. In their situation, it was more than normal, but…It was still worrying. 

Only Kagome was able to push some sense into the grumpy half-demon. Shippou reminded himself of the way she would smile encouragingly to him and it strengthened his resolve. After all, he was doing this for her, so he took a deep breath and let out the words he had practiced telling the one he considered as a father.

"I’m sorry."

The look of surprise on the face of the adult gave Shippou the last push he needed to explain himself without hesitating too much.  
"I’ll try not to play tricks on you again. Kagome didn’t like it last time and she got sad and…I want to help give back oka-san’s smile…but I don’t know what to do." Shippo began to sob, frustrated by the fact that he was doing his best but that it didn't work all the time, unaware there was only so much someone his age could do. "I want her back like she was before, smiling and laughing and happy!  
The wide green eyes of Shippou bored into Inuyasha’s amber ones and he saw the kitsune close his small hands into tiny fists, flicking his tail and try to stop crying. He was a man dammit, no matter how old he was.

Inuyasha sighed, for once unirritated. "Me too, runt… me too."

To his surprise, Shippou felt the older male cradle him against his chest and nuzzling his hair in a clear inu gesture of affection.

"We’ll get our stubborn wench back, kit. We’ll make sure of it."

When the kit parted from Inuyasha, the hanyou knew they were utterly screwed. No matter how reassuring he had tried to be for the fox, Inuyasha was worried as fuck. When the pack was fighting the usual demons, she was taking out whatever fury from hell of a feeling she was repressing otherwise on whatever poor piece of shit they were battling against. And he knew that particular state of mind damn too well not to worry about Kagome. Why was it so hard to keep her protected from whatever was freaking her out?! If only the hanyou could use his sword against it, it wouldn’t stand a damn chance! 

But no, he was forced to wait for the girl to talk, the sickening stupid situation in which he could do nothing but wait! How much he wanted to bare fangs and claws and just cut the crap once and for all. And those emotions in her scent; they were burning his freaking hypersensitive nose! It was hurting him to see her like that, to smell her like that, all silent and lost.

Sometimes when deep into this state, she would come to sit near him, doing nothing special. The first time it had happened, she was shivering, but so out of it that he wasn’t even sure she had realized it, so he lent her his firerat and let her lean on him, like a scared animal searching for a safe den. 

And though Inuyasha thought of himself as the last place to provide it, whether he liked it or not she was turning to him to do so while he would rather harshly try to truly be bothered by her need for his presence to feel safe. He was an experimented warrior, a fighter, not a damn babysitter, for fuck sake! But somehow, it was like that day when Kagome had freed him from Kikyo’s arrow: at that moment, only she was able to accomplish such thing, as uncanny, laughable and impossible as it was looking...now, it was his turn to be the un-experimented one unlikely succeeding at giving her something she needed, as he would still let her come closer and warm his lonely soul and try to ease hers by simply being there. The half-demon would die before admitting it, but this was something he had missed from his miko; her seeking his help, reaching out to him even if just a freaking little. It helped him to feel useful, special. The hanyou was not really sure how to comfort someone, so he stood there uneasy for a few minutes, but he remembered things his mother used to do to appease him as a kid and how many time Kagome’s steady embrace had saved him from death or worse, so perhaps that…

Carefully, he placed one arm around her shoulders and pressed her gently against his torso. She didn’t protest. In fact, she even curled up and crawled on his lap, her hands firmly grasping his kosode as if she was afraid he would vanish. Her face was pressed against his chest, getting it wet and making noises like a whining dog that was afraid of being beaten.

Inuyasha was reminded of himself as a child seeking comfort from his mother...how he had been forced to take care of himself too soon for the young child he was to really be ready to face the life of the outcast he was since birth. The comparisons that were blurting out of his thick skull made both Inuyasha’s inner demon and his human side growl together. It would take a hell of a life-threatening damn fucking reason for him to push Kagome away before long now that she finally was so close... 

Close enough for him to be reassured she was okay, close enough for her to be warm, safe, heartbeat calm, eyes half-closed and breathing on his collarbone; this was exactly what the hanyou wanted. In his head was this rumbling content though like a mantra: that’s it, wench, let me protect you. I’ll keep you warm and safe. 

It has been too long since the last time he had had her this close and it was making him even more grumpy than when he was just worried about her. Placing his hatori on her because he knew she was cold was never as fucking good as holding her himself. Fabric be damned if he could be the one to hold her instead! It sounded stupid and Inuyasha himself could never admit it openly, but nothing in the world could have pleased him more and as he began to slowly stroke one of his clawed hands through her hair, a small purring sound making his way in his chest. She looked at him, surprise glowing in her eyes, but as he opened his mouth to explain, embarrassed to need her near him, she let out a smiling laugh that warmed his heart. With an uncertain smile, she only asked if she could ride on his back the next day as they had always done. Not wanting to show her how eager he was, he hides it behind his usual gruffness.

“Keh, you’re the one who stopped it, wench.”

At that, her smile dropped and she looked at her hands. Inuyasha cursed himself as he felt his puppy ears drop on his head. How come that he had fucked up like this?! What was it with him?! He had never been good with words and feelings, but it was not an excuse. As if being a damn bastard was going to help her! He mumbled a few insults to himself under his breath but tried to make amend.

“Hey…Kagome?” 

He couldn’t believe he was about to say this!

When she looked at him worrying her bottom lips between her teeth, he held her tighter and nuzzled her face with his nose gently. If closing himself to her had hurt her feelings, perhaps opening up to her would have the opposite effect…

“I...I missed carrying you around. Okay?”

That took away the scent of sadness that had been lingering on his miko. The hanyou sighed, pleased with the little progress they had made. From that moment, she had often requested to ride on his back again and it was enough to make him hope for her to be back to her normal self, even if ever so slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, 
> 
> thanks for reading, leaving comments and kudos and giving this fanfiction a chance. It means a lot to me. 
> 
>  
> 
> I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO PUT KOUGA IN THERE!
> 
> ****This is the beta-read and updated version.****

A small and rather dysfunctional routine was establishing itself but at least Kagome appeared to be better, much to the relief of her companions. She was talking more, helping around more, smiling more. 

Of course, everything was not exactly perfect for her either. A lot of nights, she’d fall asleep out of sheer fatigue only to be waking up her friends while trying to scare away all the haunting nightmares plaguing her...because as soon as she was closing her eyes, they were there. During the day, they were silently lurking into the dark corners of her mind, but at night...at night they were coming out like ferocious infernal beasts and Kagome would wake up, silent screams on her lips, panting, crying all over herself and trembling as the Miko covered her face in a vain attempt to get ahold of herself. With each night, her slowly dwindling supply of clean clothes was ruined by a cold sweat, her lack of sleep was crushing her, but most of all, she was feeling guilty and ashamed. Waking herself up was one thing, but waking up the whole little group while not being able to share the reason for her deep-rooted fears was something else. Of course, her friends had witnessed her terrors. How could have they not? 

It’s not as if Inuyasha was not guarding the camp’s area, aware of every sounds and smell. 

It was not as if jolting awake had not disturbed the kitsune cuddled close to her. 

It was not as if Sango and Miroku were light-sleeper.

So why had she expected for them not to know, never to know about the ghosts eating away at her? Kagome would have preferred for them to, but if anything, the intensely frightening nightmares they had witnessed had been bad enough to make them become aware of the trauma hidden behind her daily demeanor. And now that they had seen, there was no way they were letting her deal alone with it, no matter how many time, how many tricks she had tried to get rid of those abject things…but none of her own tricks to get rid of them were working enough to give her the peace she was so desperately craving. 

When she was waking up, she had tried to examine her surroundings carefully due to the fear of being still in a nightmare or even worse; back home...but was always afraid of her safety being an illusion. Pinching herself only remembered her that her body was still bruised and abused.

She had tried to do breathing exercises to get herself all calm and grounded...which was nearly as useless as trying to get Miroku to stop noticing women. 

Nothing was working and after her first night-terrors, the Miko didn’t even bother hiding it anymore, calling for either Sango or Inuyasha immediately. More often than not, she was waking up poor Shippou in the process anyway and the kitsune would try his best to reassure the one he considered his adoptive mother that everything was alright, but only the safety provided by Inuyasha’s embrace or the fierce protectiveness of the one she considered like a sister was able to totally calm her down enough to go back to sleep. Sure, Shippou’s sweet gestures of worrying were cute; he would try to make her laugh, or gift her with some flowers he would find on the way, draw something for her or cuddle her, but it was not as if she had been trying to concern him in the first place. The dark circles underneath his eyes made Kagome feel horrible, no matter how the fox kit would brush her worry off with a joyous smile and a hug each time she was apologizing for reducing drastically his sleeping time. Her heart hurt each time she was seeing her friends exchange worried glances, trying not to pry, but silently burdening themselves more and more with each passing nights...The Miko knew she was closing herself to their inquiries, acting as if nothing special had happened as soon as she was fully awake in the morning, trying to not so awkwardly smile when they would carefully ask about the rest of her night. It was sickening to do so, but there were things Kagome never wanted them to know about… Plus, what could she say? What could she tell them?

Sorry to be so awkward, I feel as if my body is dirty and no longer mine… 

I’m so ashamed, and scared and scarred but I’m just not strong enough to let you see how much… 

I wish it could disappear… 

Sorry for making you all worried and anxious, but I feel as if nothing can take away the feeling of being forced to stay still and spread my legs… 

I wish I could have stayed here where I know you would all have protected me… 

My purification power doesn’t work on humans… Why doesn’t it work?...

It was not my idea to go out that night…

I wasn’t even wearing anything provocative…but it happened nonetheless...

She could not let out a single word concerning those thoughts, so she tried to find ways to compensate. Whenever Kagome would feel worried, she would touch Inuyasha: holding his hand, climbing on his back where she would often fall asleep, her nose hidden in the silver hair of the half-demon or nuzzling his neck. When she was feeling restless, she was playing with Shippou or Kirara. She tried had tried her best to meditate with Miroku, but all it did was leave her to brood. She needed to move, to fight, so she had given up and asked the monk to come training with her and Sango instead. It was significantly more helpful. Plus it was keeping her hands busy and her mind focused on keeping itself sane. She had felt too helpless, too passive in the recent past to stay so still ever again. Even if she was still not talking about what had happened, there was a kind of normalcy that was slowly taking over.

Of course, a few days after she had finally made some more progress, things got awkward again. Kaede’s village was a few days of walk away and so was the well. The Inugang expected Kagome to ask for a break to go back to her family, studies and whatnot, mentally preparing themselves not to panic too much while she was away from them...Until the moment during which, for the first time ever, Kagome told them that she didn’t need to go back home. 

She may have fibbed but no matter what she COULDN’T go back. No matter how strange it may sound, here was much safer than going back home. Here, there were no explanations if she was not ready to talk, there was no school hall, no need to hide the creeping haunting feelings for the sake of her family... 

In fact, she desperately tried with all her might to avoid discussion about her true home unless absolutely necessary. Kagome realized it was best to stay with the little pack, in a place where she didn’t have to face her “friends” or have to tell her mom and grandfather, to justify herself or have Souta ask questions… There were not a thousand options: all she could do to lose her mind was to keep the little family as far as possible from the well and the demons on the other side, telling them that she could study in their time for her next test because she had taken her books with her.   
When she did, however, it didn’t go as smoothly as she had hoped for. Sure, Shippou and Kirara jumped in her arms out of joy, thrilled to get more time with her, while Sango and Miroku were only slightly confused and a little relieved to be able to keep an eye on their friend…but Inuyasha, having come to know the Miko best for his part, could not believe his twitching ears. 

What was all this shit about?! Usually, she would miss her family, have to defeat those weaker demons that were her exams and tests or at least ask for a break from the demon chasing quest and he would need, more often than it should have been possible, to negotiate the number of days she would be away with the impossibly stubborn girl to finally bring her back himself because her absence was getting on everyone’s nerves...As sure as the passage of time, as precise as the miko’s aim with her arrows and as clear as water, this was how they had always worked. And this was more than a barely important usual routine, this was the whole sharing-time dynamic she was suddenly pushing aside with not more than a shrug! Was she holding back for their sake or was she so afraid to return to her own time that she was putting her own future in jeopardy? She had explained to him more than once how important it was for her to keep going to school to get a better future, sitting him a thousand times because he would not willingly be letting her go back to whatever obligations she had in that smelly futuristic city of hers. Inuyasha had, of course, mocked it due to his own lack of education but now the fishiness of the whole situation was beginning to take its toll. He might have not understood everything, (He understood nothing honestly) he might be a lowly half-bread, but he knew that she needed to get back no matter how pissed off it was making everyone, so why was she disagreeing?!

“Keh, it’s either bullshit or you hit your head on the way here, wench! You’re the one who always has to fight me to go back and now you think I’m stupid enough to believe you don’t need to go back after all?!”

Barking his lack of understanding was what did it. Her expression was like a punch in the gut and an ice-cold silence fell on the group. Even the forest animals were still, having gotten the clue about the electricity in the air. Miroku and Sango exchanged a glance and Shippou, sitting carefully on his adoptive mother’s shoulder held her face to his small chest, glaring at the Hanyo.

Kagome tried her best not to cry and held her head downwards, so she could look at the ants and other insects scurrying across the forest floor, feeling like she was one of them; small, weak, fighting for survival in a world too big for her to win it over...and Inuyasha was like a rainy day; making her journey more perillous with his impetuous nature. Why does he have to keep asking questions!? I know he doesn’t know what happened but shouldn’t he see I’m upset? Unless… Unless he really wants me gone...because he considers me as a burden...but... No!!! Kagome tried to shake that thought away, knowing that he wouldn’t ever do that. Yet, unbidden, it came anyway gnawing Kagome’s skull painfully.   
A mathematician was not necessary to crunch the numbers on how many times it would take to explain how Inuyasha had fucked up at that exact moment. No matter how good his intentions had been, Inuyasha’s temper had stricken like thunder and damage control were needed as fast as possible. Like a rose feeling the first frostbite of early winter, the Miko was slowly curling upon herself.

Feeling frustrated and guilty as he was already feeling, the only thing the temperamental half-demon could do was to shut his mouth before saying something worse…that was until the wench asked the most unbelievably stupid question of all…not even looking at him in the eyes.

“Inuyasha…you don’t want me to stay?” He could smell the hurt in her even before she said anything.

That was it, he was losing it. How could she be blind enough to even consider something so stupid like that?! How could she…?!

“Don’t say shit like that, damn it! Of course, I want you to stay! Do you think I like it when you go do kami only knows what in that stinking time of yours?!”

Screaming his opinion in a less than gentle manner was definitely not the thing to do, but it was too late and when he understood his mistake, Kirara was biting his butt, literally planting her sharp teeth into the flesh of his backside, Miroku had already bumped him on the head with his monk staff, Shippou was already hissing at him and trying to calm the afraid Miko. Sango took a few steps in their direction, gently placing her hand on Kagome’s free shoulder.

“Kagome, when you go, he makes a fool and an ass of himself waiting for you, you know…”

The two girls made eye contact and somehow, the Miko looked as if she was hardly believing her friend, so the perverted monk added something for good measure, using his dry wit to get Inuyasha’s attention.

“True, he looks like a puppy on a doorstep,” Miroku said, deadpan.

This time, the hanyou remembered not to scream near Kagome when he barked at the monk, taking him by the collar of his black and purple robe. Seemingly unperturbed by his incoming death, Miroku gave Sango a knowing look. I’ll distract him.

“Miroku, you lecherous monk…!” Inuyasha jumped away holding that same monk by the neck. Sango really hoped the scream he made was just exaggeration...

Nevermind. There was a more important matter to attend. The demon slayer chose not to give them one bit of her attention, all focused on her sister of the heart, which was needing her attention more than the men behind them. She knew that Miroku could handle their irritated companion for a while. It wouldn’t be the first time. Kagome, scared and nervous as she was was another story. Under her palm, Sango could feel her friend tremble and it was breaking her heart. Softening her voice as best as she could, she tried to capture to other girl’s eyes.

“Kagome, none of us like to see you go, but we know how important this is to you, so we ignore Inuyasha’s ill dog temper and we all wait for you here.”

Kagome couldn’t believe it. “...So then why-”

Sango's voice was affectionate and patient as she answered her unfinished question.

“Because we all love you, Kagome. In different ways, but we do. And we understand that we are not the only one that needs you, that you had a life of your own before falling here...”

When she finally looked up, Kagome saw Sango’s sincere glance, and smiled… Though not for long. Inuyasha and Miroku trying to rip each other head off both verbally and literally, Miroku trying to be the voice of reason.

“Will you grow up and stop acting like a complete child!” Miroku eyes were popping out of his skull, his expression utterly livid as Inuyasha almost dropped him on the ground in anger. 

“What d’ya mean! She keeps saying stupid shit like that, like she doesn’t know me at all!” Inuyasha growled at the monk, with his exposed canines shining through. Miroku’s sighed, calming down.

“Inuyasha… I am going to say this as both a friend and a human being. You can’t be so idiotic that you don’t realize that you are causing Kagome pain just because you can’t learn to shut up!”

Inuyasha stepped back, suddenly shaken. “And what do you know? If human interaction is your specialty, we’re all damned to act like shit anyway! You’re the pervert who groped her and tried to get her to have children with you despite barely knowing her!”

Sango sighed and looked at her still not at ease friend. “I can go over if you-”

“No!” Kagome yelped grasping her friend's hands roughly. Remembering what had been done to her own wrists, made the Miko let go and step back. “I’m sorry… But please don’t go.” Kagome glanced around. Shippou’s anxious figure was pacing back and forth. Not wanting the kit to stress out she picked him up and walked away until the noise of both of the bickering men were muffled. Still close, she and Sango sat down on an old tree stump. Holding the fox demon against her was soothing, and the sudden relief to be away from the men down on her. Shippo felt drops of water fall on his head. She was crying!

“Kagome! Please don’t cry! Inuyasha can sure be such a jerk sometimes-” Then he looked up and saw a faint smile on his friends face.  
“Shippo… You don’t have to worry about me so much all the time. Shippo stuttered the beginning of an explanation, but the Miko shushed him, setting him down gently. “If you want to help, why don’t stand guard and tell me when they are done fighting?”

Shippo looked at her for a few seconds, trying to see if she was going okay enough for him to leave. What he saw appeased him a little, so he gently rubs his nose against hers and went off. Kagome dropped the act immediately after. Sango put her arms over her friend's shoulder, ready to comfort. Meanwhile, Kirara rubbed herself against Kagome’s legs, with the soft white fur around her ankles giving her a brief respite.  
Sango noticed that everything was getting really windy all of a sudden and that many of the birds were flying away. Paying them no mind, she focused her attention on the obviously hurt Miko.

Before she could say anything, however, Kagome quietly spoke.  
“I’m not mad at anyone. I-I… I don’t want anyone of you to think that. It's just that the way he acts sometimes.... I feel like he’s pushing me away and-”

Suddenly, the velocity of the wind reached its apex. Leaves and other plants were flying everywhere, with the stump they both were sitting on in danger of being uprooted. The girls ran a few paces back to the camp, where Kagome’s things were flying everywhere, and the tent that Shippo was holding on to dear life was barely holding on. 

The cause of it made itself readily apparent, being a windy tornado coming at full speed before erupting in the clearing. In the middle of it, a wolf demon was running. It had interrupted the monk’s and hanyou’s argument but that wasn’t a good thing.

In fact, the wolf tribe leader’s stench made Inuyasha’s temper even worse. Kouga, of all the pieces of shit around, had to come near and drag his stupid ass as close as possible to Kagome that he would dare to! What was it with Inuyasha and bad karma?! Was it a curse or something? That damn bastard was having the nerve to smile at Kagome in this disgusting way, as if he had already won her over, but it was not that flea-bag that had been there for her when she had come back, it was not him that had tried to make the girl smile and laugh, it was not him that was trying to understand what shit had happened to his Kagome, for fuck sake! Even the runt made more for the Miko than the wolf. And still, the youkai was there, proud like a katana and the inu hanyou wanted to puke...on the smelling wolf would be a perfect place to empty his stomach. 

“How’s my woman?”

Inuyasha emitted a low growl while damning the other male to hell and back in his head. Stupid stinky wolf, use your nose and that rotten half brain of yours, it’s not the question to ask, you moronic idiot! There was a limit to the frustration Inuyasha could go through for a day without reaching his breaking point... and this time he had reached his limit. Under the worried glance of Miroku and Sango, the hanyou took a few steps in the wolf demon’s direction, close enough of his Kagome to come between her and the damn freaking fleabag if needed. 

All Kagome wanted to do was to go hide somewhere safe, to tuck herself away until the world forgot about her very existence. She had completely forgotten about Kouga! It was not as if she had had the time to think deeply about the over the top, flirty Youkai currently holding his hands out to her. She didn’t hate him of course, but the way he looked at her, no matter if there weren’t any bad intentions made her skin crawl. This was how a predator stalking a prey was acting; following all of its movements with a wild hunger and the content of the one who knows he will get his way with his victim. It brought back horrible memories of that night and made the teen panic. Jerking her head around, she found no rescue. Normally, this safe place would have been the silver-haired demon’s arms…but now… The closest to a hiding place was Sango’s, so she backed up behind her friend. She could have been safe and unseen if Kouga, unaware of how thin her patience was right now, was peeking at her face, too close for comfort, too close from Sango, but also too close from the already shaky Miko.

“...You look pale, Kagome. Want me to hunt you something? Inubaka here can’t provide well for you, I see.” His face contorted from a proud swagger to anger at Inuyasha in less than half a second. 

Inuyasha tried very hard to repress the low growl wanting to escape his throat at that comment but Kouga knew it had gotten on the other’s nerves anyway, so he smirked…until he realized something: Kagome lack of answer was unusual and Kouga finally caught up on that clue. Suddenly, the wolf youkai observed the miko with piercing eyes. Tiredness was written in each and every line of her frowning face, tensed shoulders and superficial breath… Something was obviously wrong there. Red puffy eyes…

“You’ve been crying….” Kouga was horrified that this had happened and blamed it on either the disgusting half-demon travelling with her or a youkai the little pack had came across. Clenching his fists, he was prepared to beat to death whatever that he had made her upset, but seeing his woman so shaken, the wolf tried to reach out to the girl behind Sango, wanting to offer whatever comfort he could. Seeing her this way, so sad and fragile, it was hurting him. Kouga could not leave her in that state of distress. After taking care of her, he would hunt down whatever was hurting her so badly, but before that, the youkai would be there for his intended mate...What he was not expecting was the look in the Miko's eyes and the fast reflexes of the demon slayer prevented him from getting his hands on Kagome. He sure as hell wasn’t expected it to back the battle cry that the damn mutt made while coming to stand with Sango between Kouga and the terrorized Miko, giving Kouga no choice but to jump. His powerful legs propulsing him near Kagome, he lost no time in taking her hand in his and to hold her shoulders, eager to help...only to have Kagome trying to dodge his contact, but too slow to prevent him to grab her as both of her friends were turning back to face the wolf. Heart beating too fast and fear gripping her soul, the girl only let out a squeaking sound, closed her eyes and made herself as small as possible, surprising the daylight out of Kouga. Since when was his woman behaving like an afraid mouse and why? 

“Kagome, what’s wrong? Who did this to you!” Kouga promised himself he’d gut whoever had done this, and tried to look for some clues… But instead turned to the one his woman was staring at behind him. He turned around and saw that mutt gaping at him with anger.

Burning with fury, he looked at the only one who could be, in his eyes, responsible for the girl’s state: that disgusting failure of a half-demon. That same half piece of shit who had the guts to try to punch him. Dodging the hit was not as easy as it should have been, but with what the dog-breath told him, another man saw red.

“And guess who made it worst! Stupid fleabag, don’t you see that she’s afraid of fast moves and screaming? If you’d like her the way you say, you’d pay attention to the way she reacts to you, stupid cub!”

Stupid? This undeserving baka had called him stupid?! Then everything clicked.

“That’s it, Dog, you’ve crossed the line! You’re the reason she cried, aren’t you!?” Digging his claws in his hands, he charged with bloody outstretched hands. “I don’t care if she likes you…” His voice was as deep as thunder with lightning coursing through his raging body. “I’m killing you today!”

Inuyasha’s blood was already boiling in his veins, but when the filthy wolf had approached Kagome and tried to take her hand without her consent while her body language was clearly screaming how uncomfortable she was, Inuyasha had lost it. The horrified look in her wide-open eyes was not something he never wanted to see ever again on Kagome, so he charged the other demonic being. Punches and blows were given as Kagome hid away in Sango’s embrace. Bark shattered and the earth quaked but Kagome could see none of it. All and every part of her were screaming, alarming and insistent: she needed to get out of there. To go somewhere safe. NOW. Fast. Even when she felt the demon slayer taking her a few meters away from the fight between the two rivals, they could still be heard, cursing, accusing each other while knowing nothing and the Miko shivered and whimpered. Each word was like a knife in her already weak sanity.

“What have you done to my woman, stinky mutt?! Is it again the problem with that dead corpse of a priestess again?!” There was so much fury in Kouga’s voice and if his hits were not reaching their targets, his words were making two hearts bleed. “At least us wolves, mate for life! You dog shit can go fuck everywhere you want and since you’re only a half-bread, I bet you can’t even claim her or make her your mate properly! Kagome deserves better than a jerk!

There are only a few words that could convey a little more than half of the rage the Hanyo was feeling. “You piece of trash, I’ll kill you!” Inuyasha pulled out the Tetsaiga, ready to fight to the death. A very definitive and painful death. 

Howling, growling and battling, they both had been oblivious to the girls who had slowly retreated a few meters away from the fight. Trying to get the young woman to feel safer, Kirara had wrapped her body around the Miko while Sango was soothingly drawing circles on her back, whispering softly, but to no avail, as Kagome began to cry, a heartfelt plea for the chaos to stop. Sango saw her distress, so she pushed her in her arm and put her hands on the Kagome's hears.

Miroku, not sure of what to do as his hands were full trying to both not to be killed by the two furious demons and to calm down Shippou who was clearly at a loss until he wasn’t anymore. For once, it was the little fox that exploded from anger. Seeing his surrogate mother’s distress had triggered every protective demonic instinct the kitsune was possessing and the foxfire separating the two older demons was the most powerful he had ever emitted. Both demonic beings fell on their tailbones as the fox came between them, furious as both youkai had never seen him. At that very moment, the kit was radiating of anger but his voice was dead cold.

“STOP! Both of you better get a grip, now! Kagome doesn’t need this whole fighting thing right now, she can’t handle it! Don’t you see it, you ignoring stupid moronic idiots?!”

The newfound silence was broken by the monk's voice.

“Well said, Shippou, I’m proud of you. Now, both of you, calm down…” In any other case, it would have been funny how an actual child was more mature than these idiots, but he had hopefully expelled all his anger trading barbs with Inuyasha. As zen as he ever was, he walked over with the put out the fire instead of adding to it.

Sango, however quickly outpaced him, not wanting to let only the men deal with the situation, so she finished the monk’s sentence in a slow menacing tone.

“Or I’ll make sure to kill you slowly enough for you to suffer through it more than you ever thought you could suffer.”

Kouga and Inuyasha knew the demon slayer was dead serious, just as Shippou had proven to be, but what finally broke their aggressive positions and stances was the weak exhausted voice of the one they had been fighting for.

“Someone please, take me away from here….” A quailing whimper was heard, barely a decibel above the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would take her away from the chaos? You'll see next chapter! This person will be the first one to hear the almost complete story of what happened to Kagome while she was in her world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who took Kagome away, how the Inugang deals with being separated and how they find their way back to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! 
> 
> First, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to sakufanfics, kinera and 20mcdanno for their constant support of this story, you’re the best and I’m so lucky! Thanks also to Rebecca: your comment helps me to keep writing this fanfiction. 
> 
> Second, I'd like to say sorry to delay the revelation of what exactly happens to Kagome, this will be for the next chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter nonetheless! :)

Kouga was growling something about a stupid half-breed’s shitty alpha male capacities since his beta had taken the matter in her own hands, but Inuyasha wasn’t listening. As soon as he had heard Sango taking off with Kagome on Kirara, he had been on their scent trail, letting Shippou and Miroku behind to deal with the flea-bag. At the moment, nothing was mattering more than his Kagome. The monk and the runt were of no interest to the loser who had made him lose his temper bad enough to make his miko flee. Ears flattening against his head, his anger was increasing his speed. It should have been him taking her to safety, dammit! Heck, the stubborn girl was supposed to be able to count on him, to rely on his strength to feel safe. He was glad to know that the stupid piece of shit that was the wolf was far from his Kagome, but all of his instincts were screaming at him that he had screwed up, not being the one to take her away as she had asked, her pleading heartbreaking his heart. The demon slayer had been faster than him, but mostly less occupied than he had been with that bastard, so it had been her that had come to the rescue while it was his fucking job, dammit to hell and back! Cursing angrily at himself and insulting that damn puny wolf cub who dared to made him lose his focus on the miko, the hanyou was sprinting in the forest as fast as his powerful legs could take him, following the olfactive clues his nose was detecting.  
________

When the miko’s cry for help erupted in the air, everybody froze and Sango knew she had to do something other than being seriously pissed at Kouga for being an unnerving battling jerk. Knowing her friend, in any normal circumstances not involving a fight, she would have ran into Inuyasha’s arms and stood there for a while no matter what kind of fight had been happening prior to any frightening event, but with the hanyou trying to keep the annoyingly persistent baka of a wolf away from their Kagome, this was not an option either. 

From the moment the demon slayer and the fire cat youkai had locked eyes, it had been clear that they were thinking the same thing: it was time to get Kagome out of there and fast. The girl already clinging to Sango, it had been a piece of cake to take her on Kirara’s back in a few seconds. Kagome was holding onto the back of her sister of heart for dear life, not caring one bit for how her demon slayer armor was uncomfortably pressed against her face. Not losing time, the neko youkai leaped in the air with an angry mewl. It was clear that the fight opposing the dog and the wolf was what was causing the pang of hurt, sadness, and fear in the raven-haired human that Kirara had come to appreciate a great deal more than some might realize. Not as much as she loved her Sango, but enough to feel protective of the gentle and doting miko. For any youkai, finding a pack and protecting its members were important. A pack meant safety and this was exactly what Sango and the neko had in mind for their friend. Going fast enough not to be easily followed, the youkai tried to fly as steadily as possible, enjoying the feel of the wind in her fur and slowly purring, her own way to try to comfort her sad cargo. Kagome had not let go of her traveling companion and Sango decided to take her still crying friend to where they had last made camp. When they landed there, Kirara let the girls go off her back, but curled up around them as the miko’s trembling form was falling on the ground, taking Sango with her. 

The moment Kagome had felt Sango taking her to the soft flying cat, she had not flinched or shied away from her friend’s touch, feeling grateful that it had been her, of all her friends, who had taken her away on Kirara’s back before anyone could object. Kouga had been the icing on the cake and for now, she was not ready to face him; his aggressive demeanor, his too direct flirting and his hatred for Kagome’s safe heaven. Even if confiding in Inuyasha was out of question, he was understanding and doing his best to take care of her in his sometimes gruff and clumsy way, letting her get away with far more affections gestures than before and for her, it was worthing more than she could ever tell him. Thinking back to him, she also remembered how Shippou and Miroku had made some important efforts in order to keep her as sane as possible. And Sango…Sango who had respected her enough to let go of their bonding time so her friend would be at ease, who had trained with her knowing it would take her mind out of her misery, who earlier, heard her plea for help and did not hesitate to act. The miko knew she had kept the one she considered as a true sister at arm-length for too long already and that after what had happened today, it was a luxury she could no longer afford. In the steady embrace of the other woman, surrounded by a purring mass of white fur, she realized how lucky she was. She was not going throughout all this alone as long as she was traveling and fighting in the past. Her friends from the other side of the well were unable to ear even the smallest word about it, but there she was, in the Feudal era, surrounded by people close enough to her and worried enough for her to let the traumatized girl she had become know she was not forced to bear the weight of what had happened alone, that they would be there for her if she wanted to. And kami, how much she wanted to know! Coming to term with that part of her own needs, she decided that she would take the first step and rely on the demon slayer more heavily. Breathing deeply in a slow manner, she slowly let go of Sango and asked something it has been a while she had not asked for, surprising her friend. 

''Sango? Would you…come bath with me?"

"Sure thing, Kagome."

The smile that had graced the demon slayer’s lips was heartwarming like a summer breeze and Kagome knew she had done the right thing by asking. Both of them going up on their feet, Kagome hugged Kirara and thanked her warmly. The neko demon was pleased with the result of her and Sango’s work enough to proudly emit a purring sound that made the miko laugh a little. Gently head butting the girls, the fire cat took her smallest form and sat on her master’s shoulder with what could only be described as a smug smile. Taking their bathing supplies was a fast task, but it was not the only thing that Kagome took out of her enormous yellow bag. A small bag of dried fish was a poor offering to reward Kirara’s help, but the girl from the future knew how much the neko was favoring them, so whenever she wanted to please the proud fluffy ball, she was giving them to the fire cat. Whenever she was back in her time, she was taking packing some everybody’s favorite treats: poky and other sweet for Shippou, Ramen, Ninja food and chips for Inuyasha, dry fruits and small cakes for Miroku, some sweet smelling soaps or wood polish for Sango to try on her giant weapon and finally, dry or canned fish and cat food for Kirara. She figured that she could use both the fish and the slayer favorite soap as thank you for their help. When she put her paws on her price, the neko was emitting sweet pleased sounds that put a smile on both girl’s faces and as Kagome pushed the soap in her friend’s hands, her delighted expression helped the miko to remember how much she had closed herself to other, missing simple opportunities to smile with them. She promised herself to make more efforts to share those moments with them, beginning by a well-deserved bath in the hot springs with Sango.  
______

Inuyasha was exasperated. Couldn’t those damn women stop moving from one place to another so he could hold his wench in his freaking arms already?! But no, they had had to go back to their last camping site, and then stupidly take off to kamis knows where alone!!! Argh, this really was not his day! First fighting with Kagome when all he wanted to do was knowing why on earth she was trying to feed them fucking bullshit, then dealing with Kouga’s damned fucking bakattitude, and now being separated from the two girls that had taken off! There was about many shits the half-demon could take without losing his nerves, but all those events were spiraling in his head, mercifully plaguing him. The longer he was separated from Kagome, the more angry and anxious he was not admitting he was becoming. Where does two stressed-out stubborn humans could go to feel safe and be easily found back by their men? The more logical option was where they had settled the night before, but their scent there was already faint, indicating that they had the common sense to come back there…before going somewhere else! The hanyou wanted to scream, growl his frustration and kill a few fucking bastards to calm his nerves, at least punch a fucking tree or something, dammit!  
__________

Miroku and Shippou had managed to calm down Kouga and to push him on his way only a few seconds ago. Sighing in relief, they both agreed to that since they had no idea of where everyone else was, they should try to go back to their last camping site. Shippou nose’s and Miroku abilities to sense the jewel shards Kagome was always carrying with her were directing them in that direction anyway. Worried for his surrogate mother, the kitsune shapeshifted in his pink balloon form and tried to take Miroku by his robes to fly to their destination. The fox was not strong enough to go all the way like that, but when he no longer felt able to, they had traveled a considerable distance and being closer to their goal, Miroku let Shippou rest on his shoulder, walking the rest of the way until they heard a grunting thunderous voice followed by the sound of falling trees. Exchanging a side glance at what they recognized as Inuyasha’s angry temper, they hurried up until they were able to hear him swear and complain about : « stupid worrying wench that can’t just go back where it would be freaking easy to find them! » and « those damn emotional female that don’t give a shit enough to think clearly, we don’t know the fuck to do with! ». The monk and the small youkai were walking in his direction with the same thought: at least he had been easy to find…  
__________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you soon, I hope! 
> 
> I began to write the next chapter, but I still have a lot of work to do on it, so it will take me a while to update, but don't worry, I will! 
> 
> Again, thanks for reading this story, thanks for the comments, kudos, and encouragements! They mean a lot to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reveal...and something you (perhaps) haven't planned. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not in my habit to post two chapters in one day, but I guess I just couldn't stop writing until I was satisfied. This chapter is unusually long, but you'll easily understand why I think...

When the girls arrived at the hot spring and that Sango began to undress, the reassuring sound of water did nothing to erase the worry that was gripping Kagome’s body and soul. Usually, just the prospect of warm water on her skin would have soothed her, just like the lovely view they were having from there, the chirping of a few birds and the gentle wind playing in the girl’s hair were, but not that day. No matter how much she wanted to take that step, she still felt as if her already upside-down world was going even more unsteady. Her shoulders were tensed, she was cold and sweaty at the same time. Never in her life had she been body shy, but now…now she was, conscious that her whole skin was marked with scars and bruises that nothing could totally hide. They were slowly healing, but both her flesh and mind were bruised by them and this is why, on the first place, she had refused to bath with Sango since her return. The girl from the future knew she would have to answer questions from the moment the demon slayer would see the medicinal cream she was taking with her bathing supplies and even more interrogations were to be expected for the second she would drop her clothes to the ground…

"Sango?"

Her voice was anxious, but she couldn’t help it. She both dreaded and felt relieved to know that the moment of the confession was coming. The day had been such a mess from the start and no training or sweet gesture would be able to help her to calm down now. It had worked for a while, but an endless distraction from the traumatic event was not how she would be able to fully live her life. No matter how hard she had tried to be strong by herself, only asking help when she felt desperate, she knew that one day, she would need to talk about it to someone. Someone who would truly listen, who would try to understand…

Being like a sister to her and already knowing the girl most intimate thoughts, Sango was the only one she was sure to be able to talk about this with. Shippou was too young to be exposed to such things, Miroku was obviously not the right man to help her handle such a situation and Inuyasha…his possible reactions were scaring her to no end. He could freeze on the spot, or flee away, unable to look at her, or scream and shout and growl, threatening to kill whoever did that to her…But there was a more painful option she was trying very hard not to think about. If she was to tell him, was he going to reject her? To find her weak and disgusting? Trying to plan his reaction was killing her, so she was trying not to, but…Her hands closing in fists, she let her nail scratch her palms lightly. The action was not enough to draw blood like when Inuyasha was clenching his own claws in his palm in anger, but it was uncomfortable enough to remember herself that her wandering mind was attached to a body. A battled abused body… One that she had not shown her own mother after the incident, as she was calling it in her mind. One that Inuyasha was gently touching whenever she was not so subtly craving his contact. If she was telling him, would he ever want to touch her again, to hug and comfort her again? The girl tried to keep her mind on track. It was not the time to worry about that: she had not even decided if she was going to ever talk about what had happened to her to Inuyasha. 

She would show it Sango first, then explain. If she was feeling up to it and that Sango was taking it well, she would probably tell the others… The small family they were had been patient with her, they had given her space and love and sincerity. She had needed time, her traveling companions had given it to her. One step at the time. She had needed to be protected than to escape and Sango had been the one who made it happen. It was her turn to act for herself and to ease the other woman’s worries as well. Taking a deep breath to give herself courage and calm down her heretical heartbeat, she faced her friend. 

"I…I’m sorry." 

That was the last thing Sango was expecting her sister of heart to say and she couldn’t help herself, her eyes went wide in surprise. The slayer was not sure what was happening, but her friend’s body language was so familiar to her that she instantly recognized the different emotions she was displaying: guilt, shame, sorrow, even fear. Her confusion must have been evident to the miko because she looked in the other woman’s eyes and began fidgeting. At first, Sango was too stunned to talk on the spot, but with each passing seconds, the silence was growing uneasy. At least, the slayer was able to take Kagome’s hands in hers and give them a gentle squeeze before her mouth decided to cooperate with her brain again. 

"Kagome, what are you sorry for?"

The miko’s hands squeezed hers back in a way that was a little more desperate than her voice had been, breaking her friend’s heart in the process. Clinging to them was a way not to fall. Kagome’s eyes began to glow with tears and Sango tried to make her voice as gentle and soothing as possible to try to talk her out of the culpability she had no reasons to feel. Of all the persons who should be sorry for something from the list in Sango’s head, — the first one on her list being that asshole of Naraku— she had never thought to add Kagome. It was impossible that the deeply hurt girl in front of her to have something to be so sorry and so afraid about…

"Hey…You did nothing wrong. Come here, hun, you need a hug." 

It was something the slayer did not have to repeat because as soon as the word hug had been said, the trembling body of her friend literally collapsing on hers. Like earlier that day when the two morons were fighting, Sango made small circles on the back and shoulders of the girl in her embrace, slowly helping her to calm down enough to answer the slayer’s last question in a broken tone. 

"I made you all worried, I became weak and complicated and…" 

Hesitantly looking up to watch every possible change in the other’s expression, she quietly added the rest.

"I cut out our girl time without even explicating why to you but… there’s a reason I asked you not to bath with me anymore…I…I’m gonna… show you, but please, just…don't scream or shout?"

"I promise."

There was no hesitation in the female warrior’s attitude. If there was something sacred to Sango, it was promises and both girls knew it. It’s probably what gave Kagome the last dose of courage she needed to reveal what had happened to her sister of the heart. Slowly detaching herself from the slayer, she took off her shirt and that thing she was calling a bra first. Not waiting to see how her friend was reacting because she was too afraid to lose all of her bravery if she was stopping even for a few seconds, she took off her pant and panties in one swift move, exposing her body the slayer’s eyes that emitted a strangled sound as soon as she understood what she was seeing. 

Sango was not one to stare. Pretty early in her life, she had seen bruises, scars, and wounds of various types. As a demon slayer, it was not something she could have avoided. She knew that seeing those things on her family and friends was always harder, but until now, she had been lucky enough to escape most of those visions. Sure, Inuyasha was often taking hits, but no matter how hard it was to see him hurt, with his super fast ability to heal, it was less unnerving. Plus, as long as he was complaining and being grumpy, he was okay if not totally well. Kirara was a flying fire neko, there were not a lot of chances for her to be hurt for long, Miroku was not easy to lay a bruise on and Kagome was possessing healing abilities, medicines from her time for various things and a strong knowledge of medicinal herbs commonly used in the Feudal Era, so it was rare to see one of them hurt…And still, before her own eyes was Kagome like she had never seen her before. Her skin was pale. Paler than Sango had ever seen it and she was skinnier that she had ever been… but what made the demon slayer gasp were the deep angry cuts and fading dark bruises were covering her tights, hips and arms, the scratches that were marking her breast and collarbones…Something had held her wrists tight enough to leave a nasty mark… 

The demon slayer’s hands went to her mouth and her eyes widened. Of all the things she had imagine, nothing was like this. The shock was so strong that it took a few minutes for the female warrior to actually think that whatever son of a bitch that had done that was not better than dead if Sango was ever putting her hands on him…Kagome was the most gentle, dedicated and open-hearted person the demon slayer had ever met ant the idea of what kind of people could even think to do that to her was enough to vomit, but instead, she just tried not to cry. After a few seconds, in a poor attempt to avoid a mental breakdown for both of them, exposing the less important bruises that had been inflicted to her back, Kagome gets in the water first, followed by her still silent friend that was not standing too close nor than too far. There were situations in which no words could even worth silence, be it because they were unfound or unnecessary, but this was one of those moments. It might be strange, but Kagome was grateful for her sister of heart’s silence. The absence of cursing or empty words was something the miko didn’t know she had been needing to talk about the incident, but now that she was having it, words were flowing out of her mouth like tidal waves, escaping her lips freely. 

"I had finally managed to pass an important exam the first shot and my friends had good grades too and as they told me: « Since you’re there for once, we’ll be able to celebrate that all together tonight! » I felt so guilty not to have more time with them anymore that even if I’d preferred to head home and relax in my bed, I went out with them, not dressing sexier than usual, promising to both my mom and grandfather not to come home too late." Sango had no idea what the hell going out was, but Kagome was finally talking, so she kept her questions to herself and intently nodded to let her friend know she was still listening. Once more, the miko squeezed one of the other woman’s hand, this time under the water keeping their body warm. Her palm, firm and calloused under hers was remembering her that she was not alone; there was that strong reassuring person that loved her enough not to judge her, to just be there and listen to the whole story, no matter how scarred she could be afterward."At first, we were dancing, the music was good, I was having fun. We even met some people from our school. People I used to wave and smile at when I was seeing them, you know. They all drank a few drinks…I didn’t, I was not in the mood for alcohol so I passed my turn. I was tired and at a certain point, I just wanted to go home…going alone was not a wise idea, so I was kinda relieved when some of them proposed to accompany us girls back home. I thought it was quite attentionate of them…"

The slayer agreed with a nod, it was in fact very gentlemanly of them… But then, Kagome was looking at nothing in particular, curled up a little bit on herself before saying more, her tone becoming dull, her empty voice sending shivers along her friend’s spine as she continued her story, heart beating too fast unable to stop herself. Now that she was giving herself the permission to talk about it, a desperate need to let it all out was clawing at her heart like a knife. As tears made their way out of her eyes and as her throat tightened, she felt as if she was a bird in a cage, the way out being to finally tell someone everything that had crossed her mind even if the process was taking her breath away, so she did, she told Sango everything, not giving her any time to process. The whole situation was so ironic that a rather hysteric bitter laugh got out of her too without her permission before she could continue frenetically. 

"But as soon as we were outside, they began teasing and pushing, trying to touch, the other girls were drunk, so they get along pretty well with what those guys wanted and…one of them approached me…nor caring one bit if I…I was crying and trying to scream, but I was having no voice….when I think too much about it…I…I was still feeling their disgusting touch after. I didn’t want it, Sango and my brain was still crying out Inuyasha’s name, again and again, but not a sound was going out of my fucking mouth! His other friends were laughing and deciding who would be the next to…I felt so helpless, so powerless. They were drunk, but I know them, Sango: their names, their complains about the new teacher, the weather they enjoy the most or whatever banalities you could exchange with every person you go to school with. I used to small talk with them, to see them every day in the hall…and I never saw it coming…and I…in my time, we have those discussions about how important it is to ask for someone’s consent before doing something…they all have a sister, a mother, a girlfriend, and still…still they did that to me." 

Slowly rocking herself, the miko knew that she had never felt so pitiful in her entire life. Living a happy successful life in modern Tokyo and fighting demons in the Feudal Era had made her forget that danger often come closer than you're comfortable imagining. She had always been so careful, and now, now even her own friends from the other side of the well were avoiding to talk about that night. It was a taboo that was making the air heavy with so many toxic thoughts that Kagome felt sick whenever she had to come near them. 

"I let it happen because I could do nothing else. When I went home, I just washed myself until there was no more warm water and no more soap, only the feeling to have skinned myself alive, and I cried until I felt drained enough to sleep for one hour or two, but nightmares kept me awake…until I came back." Entirely concentrated on the emotional roller coaster they were trying to ride through, none of the girls saw the shadow in one of the highest branches of the closest tree. It was hiding there, listening intently to them while Kagome was pouring her heart out for the first time in weeks. "I don’t have the words, Sango, to tell you how relieved I felt when I came back to see Inuyasha waiting for me near the well, the only thing I was thinking was how much better it would make me feel to just jump in his arms, but then, he would have probably pulled me away and asked questions and…" 

Not able to say more, the broken miko hugged her friend, hiding her face against the strong shoulder of the one she was considering like both a best friend and a sister. No matter how shaken Sango was by her friend’s confession, it was not the time to freak out, so she closed her arms around her friend. Kagome needed help, and she was going to provide it, so she held the sobbing girl, tenderly caressing her hairs and whispering the only words she knew she would need to hear. Because she was fighting the mess in her own head and the tornado of negative destructive emotions inside her own self, her voice was shaking, but her tone was so warm and calm that the miko held her tighter when she heard it.

"I understand, hun. You’re not alone anymore, you can always count on me and talk to me whenever you need it… You know that, right? It was not your fault. I’m staying with you, okay? And I won’t talk to anyone about this."

Slowly relaxing, the miko answered shakily, but her eyes were more alive than the demon slayer had seen them be since her return. 

"I…I…I know…now. Thank… you… Thank you, Sango. Thank you….Thank…you. 

"We’ll go only when you’ll be ready, right?"

"Okay…"

The girls stood there until Kagome was calmer and asked to go back to find the others. She was unbelievable: after all she had been through, she was still putting the need of the people close to her before her own… That such a pure heart had to deal with so much pain and hurt was something the demon slayer would never understand and she promised herself to fight harder than she already was to keep that kind of things to ever happen again… They were both lost in their thoughts, but it was okay. It was a lot to take in for both of them and now they were both exhausted. Then, the only thing they had not expected happened. 

As they were coming out of the spring, wet and emotionally drained already, a strangled sound similar to the one Sango had made earlier while discovering Kagome’s tortured body echoed in the forest…quickly followed by a word that made them froze.

"Kagome…?" 

Said girl felt her blood freeze in her veins. She could recognize that voice anywhere and everywhere, in any circumstances…Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I made the end a little obvious, but anyway...This is not the end. How will the person react to Kagome's condition? Is it really who you think it is?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets to know who was stalking in the shadows.  
> Sango is awesome at protecting and teamed with Kirara, they are an awesome team.  
> Protective Inuyasha makes his entry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to still be reading!
> 
> This chapter had been really hard for me to write and took a very long time to come right, but overall, I think it's good. It is a little longer than the chapter I usually publish for this story, but it was hard for me to know where to cut the 7th chapter and where to start the 8th...
> 
> Comments, kudos and bookmarks are, as always, highly appreciated.

The second she recognized his voice, Kagome knew she wasn’t ready yet to face him, not more than had been a few weeks ago. The scent of those who hurt her may be long gone, she may no longer be sore enough to be forced to ride on Kirara’s back, but she still felt like the first time she had come back to the Feudal Era through the well: unprepared and afraid of what her friends could all think of her if they knew. Sango did and she had been so supportive…but telling the slayer was her own choice and after what he saw, there was no way she could get away without any kind of explanations. The choice had been taken from her before the second his feet had touched the ground, just like the oxygen in her lungs had disappeared. She shivered, feeling an odd cold settle into her bones, trying not to cry. If she was lucky enough, her exhausted body would have no more tears to shad and this would be a nightmare she would be waking up to find either Inuyasha or Sango by her side, arms open to catch her, to hold her so she could feel safe and less lost…But no matter how hard she tried to open her eyes to wake up or to pinch herself, nothing was doing the trick. It’s how she understood that she was awake and her already heavy heart sank into her stomach. She had tried so hard to hide everything, to keep this secret for herself… 

He was the last person on earth she wanted to reveal this to. What if the way he was looking at her was going to change? She knew he would not purposely hurt her, but…what if he thought she was some kind of tease that had gotten laid by her own fault? In this case, could she look into his golden eyes and see disgust for her in those honeyed depts? Could she stop herself from reaching out to him if he asked her to? His red-cladded figure was her anchor in the storm and if the injuries on her abused body were to take him from her, the girl didn’t know what would be left or what she would do. The idea of losing Inuyasha to Kikyo was nothing compared to the idea of losing Inuyasha because of something she had had no control on. Adrenaline was kicking in and she jumped back in the water, too panicked to sit the stalking silver-haired half demon. She heard Kirara growl and felt herself being pressed up against the soft white fur of the fire cat who had taken the human woman out of the water to hide her with her tail and paws.  
________

Kirara was not stupid. Exposing the kind miko wounds to the angry, hurt and confused being that had been stalking them was not a good idea. The fire-cat was certainly not understanding the need to be clothed, but she was sure of one thing: Kagome was not feeling safe enough to expose herself to Inuyasha’s gaze right now. She had been trusting Sango enough to tell her what had happened while the neko was patrolling the area to be sure her mistress and the other human woman were safe, which was already a big step taken. The fire-cat was used to human emotions because of her mistress and she knew from instincts to read someone’s body language to get some hints and when the miko had asked the slayer to come bath with her, Kirara knew they needed a moment of privacy to really talk. She had been glad to be useful and to make sure that nothing or no one was going to disturb their exchange, so when she had caught a drift of a familiar scent filled with so many emotions that it was hard to read them all, she had come back in time to protect the miko from the gaze of the intruder. Water was not something Kirara was enjoying, but this was an emergency case, so gently fishing the miko with her front paws, Kirara shielded the woman the best she could. Twisted around the human female’s body, the neko was trying to soothe her by purring softly, nuzzling the still dripping wet form to warm her and as Kagome snuggled there, the fire cat exchanged a look with her mistress. Sango nodded: while the giant ball of fur would take care of her sister of the heart, she would try to take care of their pack leader before something really bad could happen.  
_________

Being worried over his friends was something he had been so sure to never have the luxury to experience because half-breed doesn’t have those people who stick around like that, but no matter of freaking lucky he was, being worried as fuck was not an enjoyable feeling. His skin was hitching, his claws ready for a fight and his jumps were fast but precise, covering as much ground as possible. Usually, when he was running this way, it was because the wench was hugging him from behind, safely rising his back and they were trying to escape another goddamn thing that was after the freaking jewel. Suddenly, a thought entered his mind mid-leap, almost causing him to fall down without any chances to catch himself. What if another damn bastard was to attack them and he was not there to protect them? What if Kagome needed him? Her needing him…the idea gave him some more strength. In his whole body, blood drumming in his veins and mind racing along with his feet, he felt a surge of energy. The wench was that one person that believed in him, that gave him strength, even when she was not there. Always when she was fucking not by his damn sides! Grunting, he whispered at the intention of the weirdly dressed miko: ‘’Hold on, wench, I’m on my way. Just hold on you damn stubborn woman, I’m coming to freaking get you.’’ Inuyasha knew it would change nothing, but saying it out loud was appeasing his frustration a tiny little bit…but never as much as having the feeling that he was getting closer to his goal. 

When the smell of his missing pack members had finally come strong and clear to his nose, laced with the scent of the hot spring, Inuyasha knew exactly where they were and a sigh of relief escaped him. He finally found them and luckily, Miroku was not with him because, after the shitty day they all had, the hanyou was not having it in him to deal with the lecherous tendencies of the monk who was still with the runt, preparing their camp for the night while Inuyasha was following the scent-trail that had taken him to the hot springs. He had no intentions to peek— risking to be sat to oblivion was not an option— but nothing could have made him change his mind when he decided to guard the area. Now that he had found those two worrying infuriating women, he would not let them out of his hearing range. Staying close without peeking would ensure him to be able to ensure their safety without repeatedly eating dirt because his miko would be more than infuriated at him. He sighed. Anyway, Kagome had already had a hell of a shitty day and his resolve not to make things worse for her was as strong as his father’s fang. After all that had happened, he wanted, no, freaking needed to hold his miko in his arms, but it would have to wait, so he settled nervously in tree, an uneasy feeling twisting his gut as the sound of falling water was echoing around him with the other normal sounds of an evening in the forest surrounding the hot spring. When he began to use his nose instead of cursing about how it would be going faster if he could take a look at the damn situation, he stopped complaining: the hanyou didn’t like what it was telling him. From were he was, he could tell easily that the salty traces lingering in the air were not due to the water the two humans were bathing in, nor that the strong herbal scent was due to the forest vegetation around; it was the scent of the plants she was using whenever she was hurt or in pain. The smell of tears, soap, and medicinal herbs made something in his guts clenched and curled until he could hear Kagome distressed voice.

"I don’t have the words, Sango, to tell you how relieved I felt when I came back to see Inuyasha waiting for me near the well…"

The way she had say his name, with such warmth and tenderness, it made his heart swell for a few glorious seconds. No matter the arguments they had, she was still saying his name this way that was making him melt even if he would never admit it…

"…the only thing I was thinking was how much better it would make me feel to just jump in his arms, but then, he would have probably pulled away and asked questions and…"

The rest of her sentence was drowned in sadness, her tone broken by some heartfelt sob…her voice was a whining sound that took all the air out of his lungs, broke his heart in tiny pieces. She needed him and there was nothing he was not willing to do for her. Whatever was fucking hurting her would be damn dead before the end of the freaking night! Without thinking, he turned in their direction…And then he saw them… Marks, bruises, cuts, and scars on his Kagome’s body…A mix between a whining sound coming from his throat and a shocked gasp escaped his lips without his permission. It was only the strength of his claws’ grip around the branch was keeping him there, at the top of the tree; his knees were weak and it could have been the night of the new moon for all it was worthing, because he was feeling as emotionally lost than during those painful nights of darkness, weakness, and emotions he was trying not to dive too deeply into. But the view in front of him; a pale and bruised Kagome… An exposed secret, hurtful. It was those scars that were eating at her, draining her…Eras flattened against his head, he blinked, hoping that the small movement could dissipate the vision below him, but to no avail.

All those marks…running on the skin of the only one who was caring enough for him to worry about battle scars on a lowly half-breed’s body. Inuyasha wanted to scream, to vomit, to tear something to pieces, no matter what it was. In front of him was the miko who, no matter what a priestess should think of a hanyou like him, had always insisted to treat his own injuries whenever he had gotten hurt, no matter how unnecessary it sometimes was…the first to ever ask to look at him in the eyes, mindful of his well-being and scared to see harm coming to him. She had cried for him, nursed him back to health and kept him safe so many times, even put herself in danger and got herself hurt for his sake… No other would have approached him and sincerely proposed to take care of him since his mother’s death. And certainly not a woman reaching out to him and showing him trust the way Kagome was. No one else but her, who had approached him without the intent of killing, beating or humiliating him. 

Before Kagome had befriended the wild half demon, no one had bothered to think that he could feel pain too. People were seeing white hair, dog ears, and fangs, and claws and were stopping at that. He was that wild beast they could send men to tears into pieces without any remorse. Before Kagome, women were either fleeing, fainting or alerting the men of their villages whenever he was near. As a kid, he had been severely beaten because he had tried to help a lost human girl roughly the same age than him to find her way back to her village, for fuck sake! Inuyasha had passed his life to hear the cruelest and painful things about him: ‘’Lowly half-breed have no friends. Why the hell would they?’’, ‘’Who would want to be around a wild disgusting beast like that?’’, ‘’Monsters are not to have a family either, what devilish result will it give?’’, those kind of lines were his everyday bread. So when the strange girl from the future had come to him pretending to look at him as something else, he had not believed her right away. At first, the girl was annoying the shit out of him, and then, she was intriguing him but of all the things she could make him feel, she was making him begin to believe that perhaps… he was belonging somewhere, almost as if she was belonging with him as much as he with her…and now she was hurt. Badly. Everywhere. It was more than he could take. He was feeling sick to his very core and his anger rose like a burning fire in his veins. Who dared to arm her this way? Whoever the bastard was, he was going to pay. Inuyasha would make sure of it straight after taking care of his miko. 

Jumping down of his tree had not been his intention, not at all, but as he leaped to the ground, he couldn’t care less. In his head, his beast was roaring, his humanity tensing, prepared for a fight. Inuyasha was not sure how he had been able to hear himself call her name with how his heart was wildly thundering in his chest, but it was not important, because as soon as she heard it too, the miko froze and the stench of fear, nervousness, and anxiousness permeated the air and it triggered Inuyasha’s beast, who was screaming: ‘’Mate mine. Mate hurt. Mate afraid. Get to mate. Take care of mate!’’ while his human heart was pleading with him to be gentle, careful, not to scare her, to give her the time to decide what she wanted from him before running to her and never letting go of her again…  
________

Like so many times for Sango to count them, it took only one look at Kirara to know they were thinking about the same thing. It didn’t really matter that Sango had recognized Inuyasha as their silent stalker. Knowing him, he had heard things their friend was not ready to discuss yet, so the demon slayer, fast on feet, pushed Kagome behind her and took a fighting position, not caring one bit for her half-covered nudity. She had had the time to put a yukata on, contrarily to her friend who was still too exposed at her own taste to the gaze of the one she had tried to escape. When he tried to approach closer, Kagome plunged into the water to hide her body, hide her face in her hands and nothing could have refrained Sango to keep a protective stance between her traveling companions while Kirara was doing her best to shelter the miko she had hidden in her fur, infuriating Inuyasha’s beast further. If Kagome had been in her normal state, Sango knew that the girl would have sought the hanyou’s closeness, reaching out for him just as much as he for her, longing for him the way he was for her… But at the moment, she was too broken not to fear what would happen next an no matter how much Sango was feeling guilty to keep them apart, the slayer had understood fast that before she could let him get to Kagome like she dying to do, she needed him to be aware of how fragile their Kagome was. 

She knew that Inuyasha’s aching—even if unspoken— need to be near Kagome was not one she could stop with her physical strength alone. Even if he never addressed their friends as such, the half-demon was considering the miko as his mate and if there was something Sango knew from her training as a slayer, it was that you must be either crazy or have a death wish to stand between two mates. No matter how much Inuyasha was trying to repress his demonic instincts, Sango was aware that if the ‘’ get to mate’’ instinct was repressed—inu youkais were fiercely protective of their loved ones, Inuyasha had proven it to the little pack times and times again— the ‘’ take care of hurt mate’’ instinct would kick in anyway and he would reach his goal even with the taijiya in his way. With her status as his beta in the pack’s dynamic, she could not prevent him to get to the frightened black-haired girl…But Inuyasha was not just their pack leader nor that only a demonic being; he was half human as well… Kagome had been the one to point it out, to show to their little pack who truly was Inuyasha: a protector concerned for their safety, a friend they could mess with and count on…and a sensitive but well-guarded heart in love with Kagome. He could be gruff, grumpy, childish, difficult, rude, confusing, exasperating and challenging, but rarely purposefully hurtful. Particularly around the miko: he would never want to hurt her in any way. Sango would have to count on that and to believe in him just like she was doing on the battlefield. Sure, wielding his sword was easier than holding his temper and it was what was bothering Sango. Kagome was in such a state that she would not be able to handle the slayer to let her down or Inuyasha throwing words and feelings at her the wrong way. 

Taking a deep breath, the feminine warrior tried a different approach, one that Kagome would probably use if she was able to, but the responsibility of how things would happen now was into Sango’s and Inuyasha’s hands, so she prayed each and every kamis that could be listening that none of them would mess up. She prayed to find the right words before looking in the crouched hanyou in front of them in the eyes in the least challenging way she could. She knew for a fact how expressive her eyes could be when she was letting them, so she tried to convey all of her sincerity when she closes the distance between the two of them to whisper something to him. Something Kagome was too far to hear. The slayer needed to explain to him why it would be wise not to push their friend on the edge by coming any closer if he was intending to ask her for answers.  
_______

Inuyasha was clearly not expecting Sango to slowly close the distance between them to tell him how important his next steps toward their friend would be. The worry in her eyes and the seriousness of her posture were so intense that even his beast sat back, ready to listen to her. The demon slayer was looking at him in the eyes, not in a challenging way, but directly enough for him to get how serious she was. The fury in him was not dying down totally, but Sango’s next words were to be important, so he listened, arms crossed against his chest and hands folded in his fire rat.

"No matter what you saw, how much you heard or what you want to know, she’s not ready to talk about it with you, Inuyasha. She’s afraid of how you will react if she does." 

Furrowing her brows and gently massaging her temples with her hands, Sango looked tiredly at their pack leader, asking for a comprehension he was only able to give to those close enough to him. 

"This…this situation is bigger than just you and her, it’s darker than everything else we expected when we tried to understand what was wrong with her…"

A big lump formed itself in his throat and he tensed. Sango knew something he didn’t about his miko and she was not ready to tell him… Then how could he help? If there was one thing Inuyasha hated more than anything else, it was to be unable to do something, especially when this something was to freaking protect his pack. Especially the one he was considering, in the secret of the heart he had tried so hard not to feel anymore, as the most precious person in the world. A menacing growl was fighting to get out of him and the hanyou felt the urge to bare his fangs at life once more in his life. Life or destiny had never been kind to him, but it was to be expected: being what he was, neither life than death were made to be doing him any fucking favor but her? His Kagome was coming from the future and she was the purest person he knew of, so why in the tenth circle of hell would life or destiny or whatever fucking laws were messing with the universe could scar her like that? He was desperate to know, but his beta’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

"I think you should calm down before going to her. Let her decide when she will be ready to tell you everything, please, don’t push her." 

Sango was not one to plead or beg. She would ask nicely once, less nicely twice and go for it with a swing of her giant boomerang as many times it would take after the second shot. That’s why the hanyou knew that something was terribly wrong, so instead of his usual monosyllabic answer, he looked at Sango directly in the eyes, squeezed her right shoulder once and nodded, letting her know where the rest of the pack was. 

The female warrior approached Kirara and whispered a few words to Kagome before asking if it was okay for her to return to camp. Inuyasha saw Kagome nod but she kept her head down when Sango slowly left them alone with a pat on one of Kirara's paw, a last encouraging word for her sister of the heart and a warning for him in her eyes and then, they were alone.  
________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will take time to come by, I have not a lot of it done, but I'll do my best to update fast. 
> 
> I can tell you that it will be from both Kagome's and Inuyasha's pv. WARNING: prepare yourself for every possible option: fluff, angst, sexual content, etc. 
> 
> Seen you soon, I hope!


	8. This is not a chapter, just a few things I need to say about this fanfiction

Hello all! 

First, thanks to still be there, I ate myself as a writer to make you wait too much for the rest of this fanfiction, so sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm still working on the next chapter, but it's hard, harder than I thought it would be. The topic of rape and unwanted touch are hard for me to approach from that close. I'll do my best to post the next chapter (8) in a few days but it will probably be short and the 9th will be the continuity of the moment between Inuyasha and Kagome before they go back to the camp with the others and I intend to balance angst, hurt, comfort, sex and fluff the best I can. 

I still want and need to write this fanfiction, I will finish it no matter how much time it's taking me. I promised it to myself, now I promise it to you too officially. 

See you soon...

A.D.P


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thanks to still be here!
> 
> And a very special THANKS to BomGirl and kyoties. When I wrote my "not a chapter part", I was feeling insecure and guilty and I was still working on the present chapter. Both of your comments helped me to finish it, so as a thank you, I'd like to dedicate you this chapter with all of my gratitude. It's short, I wanted it to be longer, but the rest will be coming easier now, I think.

Alone… they were alone. The weight of what had just happened was squeezing out the oxygen of the small peaceful area the hot spring could have been in normal circumstances. There was nothing normal at the moment, not the wind that was totally absent, not the chirping sounds made by the few birds that were feeling brave enough to sing a few notes before flying away from the tensed atmosphere of the hot spring. The air was tick with the need for explanations, for a well-needed talk, saturated with nervousness and unexpressed feelings as well. They both let the silence hang between them like a third person. Inuyasha because he was being afraid to say the wrong thing and Kagome because the size of the lump in her throat was far too big for her to utter a single even half stuttered word. The girl was finding it hard to breathe, so talking? It was not likely to happen. The first shadows of the sun settling down for the night and she was not sure which kind of nightmares her night would be made off, she was not ready to find out. How could one be ready for that? Both were under the shock, afraid of the other’s reaction and of their own, but there was no escape, they needed to talk now, otherwise, they would never and it would separate them faster than Kouga could ever run between them. 

Inuyasha was worried. More than worried; he was terrified. The girl in front of him had not made a single move toward his direction, her smell was so powerfully overwhelming his nose with negative emotions that it made him want to kill something just to get away from his own impression to be powerless to defeat whatever it was that had caused his Kagome to be in such a state. He had seen her naked from head to toes a few seconds earlier, but she had not sat him, had not glared at him, she had not even tried to retreat: she had frozen in the most unnatural way. And with the way her body was so badly bruised, he could easily guess that being seen naked, a situation who had not happened a lot but had always been a valuable reason to make him eat dirt and earn a mouthful of insults, no longer was one of the worst thing to happen to her and his throat constricted. It was as if those battles she had fought to keep her dignity safe--and Inuyasha would kill anyone saying she had never been a warrior at heart, particularly on that topic--that she no longer considered so crucial and the realization made him go cold.

Usually, when Kagome was fighting, if she was not going to fight with all the fire in her, she was going to flee the fastest she could and let him deal with whatever thing was after her…This Kagome thought… she was too broken for either option and the way she was curled up on herself was making some of her cut re-opening. For once, the smell of blood made even his beast uneasy because it was her blood and a lot of it. She would not even look at him in the eyes. His Miko was a shivering form on the ground, tensed like the string of her bow. The dark-haired girl from the future was miles away from him and not only in matter of physical distance. He was not sure what exactly had happened in his Miko's mind, but the awful knowledge that he could not protect her from it was killing him. He had not been there for her, again. He was not even trustworthy enough for her to tell him what was going on… A whimper stuck in his throat, the silver-haired half-demon knew that whatever had hurt Kagome’s mind had been causing the damages on her body. Those angry marks and her prostrated state since he had found out about her injuries… He couldn’t take it! He only wanted to close the distance between them, to take all of her pains away and he couldn’t is she was keeping him at arm-length. Usually, it was him that was pushing others away, not her. Never her. It made her action hurt even more. Like salt on a wound, it was burning, and if Inuyasha had learned one thing from his rough beginning in life, it was to either flee the hurt..or to fight it with everything he had in order to survive...His Kagome was lucky; he had always prefered to fight.

Inuyasha approached her slowly, one step at the time, ready to stop if she was to manifest the tiniest bit of unease with his presence close to her, but still highly uneasy with. The gentle sounds of the forest around them not helping; it was as if the rest of the world was still working the same way no matter how upside-down theirs had became. The hanyou knew that coming to her was something he needed to be careful with; she was a wild wounded animal who would flee at his first brusk or rushed move...and he was nothing like the peaceful person she needed right that moment. For the first time in his life, he wished for the new moon to arrive and make him human. In this hanyou form, no matter how half-human it was, Inuyasha’s flawed body in both human and demon standards was not made to comfort, damn it! It was one hard thing with damn sharps claws the half-demon always needed to be aware of and fangs, for fuck sake! It was one with a facility to crush things, to destroy, to kill, even if still not strong or powerful enough to always protect her just like he had failed to do. How could he soften it for her without becoming even weaker than he already knew himself to be? Was it even possible? His brain was coming up with as many questions that the number of stars in the sky, but this was not the moment. If he was to stupidly overthink things again instead of doing something as Kagome needed him to, they were all doomed. The first girl he loved had been broken to the point of no return and lost because of him...and now, now his Kagome was crushed into small pieces already. Both his soul and hands trembled; he would not let her have a similar fate than Kykio. Never. So if it was his role to pick up the pieces of the woman he loved more than he could ever admit to her with his rude and unfitted for the task hands, then so be it. If shew would not talk to him, then she needed to know that she would not be alone with her burdens, that he, despite everything he could have ever told her, would stay by her side, be there for her. Later, when she would say she was ready to talk about it with him, he’ll be able to ask who had hurt her, why she hide it and so on. For now, he just needed to come closer to her, to show his Kagome that she was safe with him that he would die before even thinking to lay a hand on her to arm her. Between each new step in her direction, he was listening to her breathing and her heartbeat. If he was coming closer, was it changing? It was not, but the silver-haired half-demon was not sure if it was a good sign or not. Normally, with him near her, as foolish as it could have seemed, she would have calmed down and smile shakily by now… But the fact that she was not panicking even more when he was approaching was still something he hoped was a good sign. 

She felt him approach slowly, not stalking but…just gracefully coming closer one step at the time. How much she wanted to jump in his arms before he could see anything, make him close his eyes and just have him holding her as if there was no tomorrow, no explanations to give, just the two of them, no scars, no bruises! … but it was not what was going to happen. She knew it: no amount of wishful thinking could change the fact that she was there, naked, covered of dirt and leafs, and broken in front of the one she loved, praying for him not to react too badly to what he was seeing, either by swearing he would kill what did that to her or by rejecting her. Somewhere in her mind, she remembered that she was still bare for him to see…and began to shake as she realizes that from where he was, he was probably taking in all the injuries he could see, which were not the gravest, since she was all but curled up on herself, her knees tucked against her chest without any consideration for the bruises and re-opening scars there, but still. Her hair was hiding a part of her side and he was in front of her, so he could not see a lot, but still; he was only two meters away. She felt too exposed already. Too vulnerable, too fragile already. The moment Kagome made a move toward her clothes, she heard the soft sound of fabric being ruffled and she paused, staying still until Inuyasha’s clawed hands holding his firerat to her entered her vision. Somehow, it was hard for her to believe that this was real. How many times, before he saw her injuries, had the silver-haired dog-boy offered her one of the only thing that was never going off his back in a friendly gesture, out of concern or just to be sure she was going to be okay? It was a gage of safety, a proof that he cared in his own way. For him to offer it once more… was it still meaning the same thing?

The half-demon was doing his best not to startle her and to act in the less menacing or threatening way he could. As fast as he had taken off his outer layer, he had tried to be slow while handling it to her and slowly reducing the distance between them enough to push the red demonic piece of clothing near her enough that she would just have to reach out a little to take it. At least, with it, she could cover herself and stay warm while he tried to get her at ease enough with his presence to actually hold her, to dry her tears and kiss her face as he was dying to. Perhaps that she was not ready to talk to him, but he hoped she could perhaps…just perhaps, giving him a chance to try to makes no matter what was wrong if not right, at least less painful for her. There was no way he was going to just freaking wait for the wave of hurt to pass whining like a pup, damn it! Inside him, old instincts and needs were raging and they all tended to push him to act: the hanyou just needed his Miko's permission and he would do whatever was needed for her to be okay again.

Her fingers hesitantly reached out in the general direction of the piece of clothing and he held his breath, heart all but drumming like crazy against his ribcage, not daring to move even the slightest bit of fur on his dog ears. When they met his skin instead of the red armor-like fabric, she drew her hand back with a guilty look. He was not sure why. Was she afraid of him? No, this couldn't be! His panicked brain came up with each time she should have been afraid of him and had not. Had she even once... be afraid of him...? Not after how he had tried to get her to go away, not after all of his stupid efforts to show her how he was faking to loath her... She had been totally devoid of fears while stopping his transformations so many times, after asking to stay by his side! So what was it? Suddenly, another hypothesis took place in his mind. No, no, no, no! Was it that she had finally realized how deadly his hands were, how tainted he was or how lowly his half-breed blood was keeping him, leaving a rude broken outcast to follow her kind pure soul? Did he need to back off, to go back a few steps to give her space? No. If she was going to be afraid of him, that wouldn’t fucking do! If she was to flinch because of him, if his Kagome was to stop trusting him, he would become desperate. The idea alone was creating a void in his soul that he was sure only her could mend, it was like falling from a tree on a human night; deadly frightening. How could he make her understand that more than anything else in the world, he wanted her to know he was there for her, with her, not against her? Panic filled him and it made his words flee out of his mouth like as many nervous wild birds that had a predator tracking them. It was his turn to find his voice hard to use, his breath hard to catch and his blood going cold with fears, muscles all tensed. 

— Kagome…don't…don’t be afraid of me… just…just freaking let me help you, wench…please…

As soon as the unusual word fell from his lips, he tried not to close his eyes tight in case Kagome would push his pathetic ass away out of fear or disdain. Suddenly, Inuyasha understood why Sango had pleaded with him to go slowly with their Kagome, to be as gentle as possible. He too was ready to beg not to see her looking that way and he would even pray the kamis he had been so sure of their in-existence all of his life if she could not be scared of him. The hanyou was proud and sometimes arrogant, but those he was nothing like that at the very moment. Ears pressed flat against his hairs, hands trembling but still handing her his firerat, he saw her shook her head. What was she denying? The fact that she was afraid of him, the fact that she could stop fearing him, his help, or was she stuck in her head again? He made a move in her direction, but the tension in her body language made him think about it twice. Instead, he tried to keep his deep voice as gentle as possible when he said her name. She had always liked it when he said her name… He hoped it would be enough to gain her attention. 

— Kagome…hey…look at me… 

When she did, he saw the tears rolling on her cheeks. His golden eyes, more serious than ever, were fixed on her face and nowhere else. 

— Just take the fire rat or you’ll freeze to death and I…I can’t let that happen to you. After you put it on, I can take you to the camp and fucking leave you alone if you want me to… 

It would kill him to do so no matter what the excuse was, but if this was what she needed...He knew that no matter what it would cost him, he wanted her to still trust him, not to feel rushed or pushed, so he promised her the only thing he could offer her at the moment, crossing his arms against his chest as slowly as possible not to scare her but without looking away so she could assess his sincerity. No matter what she saw in his expression, it was still not enough because she bites her lips and oddly fidgeted. 

— Kagome…I know you’re afraid, but…Damn, I won’t ask questions about it, I swear… Not if you don’t want me to. 

Soft…his voice was so soft and a little pleading. Still a little gruff, and gravely because he was worried, but soft like his silver tresses were and she knew how much it was costing him to be this cautious and open around her. The mere thought was sending shivers running along her spine. He was willing to go to such extent to ensure her own comfort…Could she show him the same courage? Could she reach out to him with the little strength she had managed to keep intact inside of herself or would she crack and brake like a clay pot hitting the ground if she asked him the questions haunting her like bloody ghosts? There was only one way to know, and it was to do it, so she took a deep breath and asked, a shadow passing on her face…

— Am I not…disgusting…to you? 

It was almost a whisper, but he heard her question, taken aback by it. There were not a lot of situations that were leaving Inuyasha clueless, but… In this particular one, his lack of knowledge about why a woman could ask that question and what she would mean by it was beyond his understanding. Inuyasha’s knowledge about women was consisting of small pieces of undying memories of both his mother and Kikyo… Kagome was nothing like Kikyo…Where the dead priestess was cold and reserved, his Kagome was warm and open. When Kikyo had pushed him away and sealed him to the Goshinboku, Kagome had smiled to him and took him in her arms. This girl was accepting him, taking care of him, but not like his own mother had done either. Then, Inuyasha remembered something Kagome told him once: ‘’ If something seems hard to understand to you, compare it to something you actually know well, it can make things clearer.’’ If women were an enigma for the hanyou, fighting was not, so he gave her method a try. After all, he was having nothing else than his already compromised sanity to lose. Let’s see… If women were anything like weapons, the three of them he had known were powerful but slightly different. Kikyo was like her bow; unforgiving, precise and able to aim from long distances, but her trust was as easily broken as the wood used to carve her arrows. Inuyasha’s mother had been like a knife: able to cause deep wounds because she had a sharp steady blade, but had chosen to use her strength to slice vegetables for their dinner. And Kagome…His Miko was like the claws ending his fingers, the talons she was so unafraid of: a part of himself he had learned to love, to rely on and to take care of…For Inuyasha, if Kagome was something along the line of a particularly important feminine figure, it was not a maternal one, it was…for him, she was the equivalent of a mate…even if he’d be damned telling this aloud to anyone. So why the hell should her body being damaged could make him feel disgusted by his mate? If anything, it was only triggering his protective instincts and for the first time, he wanted to ask her to let him take care of her until each of those damn fucking scratches were gone! Her worry was still incomprehensible to him. 

— Keh. What are you talking about, wench? Disgusting…

He didn’t let out the ‘’Don’t be stupid!’’ that was threatening to ruin his efforts if he was to let it out. Instead, Inuyasha snorted and tried to explain Kagome what, to him, was disgusting, carefully counting the items on his fingers tips not to forget one awful thing. 

— Disgusting… it’s the stench of that fucking mangy wolf or the damn stupid face of this bastard of Sesshomaru, even if he’s doing nothing! … and that pink freaking sticky chewing gum stuff you came back with one or the damn it to hell and back groping habit of the other lecher we’re traveling with. 

He made a face that almost made her smile, so he tried harder to make his point across. 

— Those are disgusting freaking stuff. Sure, your injuries are hella nasty, but shit! You’re hurt, why would I be disgusted with you for that when you already saw me in an even worst shape? 

Sure to have made his point come across, he looked at the girl in front of him, wondering why she was not smelling happier or, at least, more confident. With what his nose was telling him, it was as if she didn’t mean it this way and he had said all of that for nothing and his ears dropped against his head. 

Any other day, Kagome would have laughed at his aggressive antics toward what he was considering as disgusting… But she was still afraid to become an item of his list. Kagome knew he was angry, she could feel it in his aura, and no matter how many times the logical part of her brain was repeating it to her, it was hard for the broken Miko to consider that Inuyasha could really be mad exclusively at those who hurt her. After all, in this era, the conception of rape was not the one she was used to in her time and what if Inuyasha was thinking that she had…that she was… Sango didn’t, but Sango was a woman. There were things two women could talk about and understand each other completely with no guarantees to have the same understanding from men if they were to ever come up with the topic… He was angry and it was probably at her. So why was he even still there? A single tear ran down her left cheek and all she wanted was for the earth to swallow her whole. When it didn’t happen, she longingly took a look at the firerat in his hands, still held in her direction. She knew it was smelling like him, was warm like his embrace, a remembering of what she never wanted to lose, of who she always wanted to stay by the side of…If he was lending her this part of him, it was not to send her away, right?

— It’s not that… you saw…and more importantly, you heard…

Her voice was nothing more than an ashamed and strangled whisper and once again and she was still hesitant. What was he needing to tell his stubborn wench for her to freaking understand?! Who had broken her so much that she didn’t believe him when he was saying freely and deliberately, which was taking a great amount of courage for him, that she was important to him? What happened for her not to trust their pack like before? Inuyasha would have given everything to know, but right now, the most important thing was that she learned to believe him again. Determination burned in his amber eyes and he tried to soften his posture enough for her to know how sincere he was being. There was no scolding smirk nor than any irony when he finally decided to totally open his heart to her without reserves. 

— Not nearly enough to scare me away, not enough to answer all of my freaking questions. Keh, as if you feeling glad to see me but not ready to talk about whatever shit the fuck happened could take me away so easily… I still…I need you, wench, it had never changed. I’ll it to you again: I need you by my sides, Kagome, when will you understand it? 

Somehow, with those words, the Miko understood three things: first, that he had not heard all of her story but truly wouldn’t push her to tell him before she was ready. Second, it was that the marvelous person in front of her had opened up his well-guarded heart just for her, no matter how much it had costed him or what he was afraid of and it was the most amazing thing he had ever done for her...And third, the words he just spoke to her were the same he had told her under the Goshinboku when he had been hurt by one of her arrows and he had convinced her to come back to him…Like that time, the answer she was expecting from him, the answer that could have killed her on the spot had never came. Instead, Inuyasha was saving her, again and again, and again. What did she do to deserve him? The Miko didn’t know, but she was grateful for both her luck and for Inuyasha’s reactions and her heart calmed its frantic beat a little. There was hope in her gaze when she looked at him and her lips were close to the beginning of a genuine albeit fragile smile. Still, she was unsure of herself and it is only with a great deal of hesitation that she gathered her courage to take the red armor-like clothe he had never stopped trying to cover her with. She had been silent for a while…and just hoped he hadn’t changed his mind. 

This time, when Kagome reached out for his firerat, the way she was acting…it was almost as if she was afraid that her move would be unwanted. Keh…As if! If only she knew how much Inuyasha was restraining himself not to touch her because she was still scared and confused! Argh, it was killing him, damn it to hell and back! Kagome was not already all wrapped up in his firerat, but it was appeasing him, at least a little, to see her accepting his help and wear his clothing as a tangible proof of her acceptation. He tried again to approach closer. When she didn’t react negatively, he allowed himself to sit carefully by her side without touching her. 

\- Inu...yasha?

His name, just his name coming from her lips and he knew. She was still his Kagome. A happy grumble escaped his throat as he locked eyes with the most precious person on earth... Whatever she was going to ask, he would provide it. She was his, and he was hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon for the next chapter! 
> 
> There will be no sin in this upcoming one. I tried to make it happen in this one but the story did not agree with me... And honestly, I agree with my fanfiction's logic, which is this one: they are not ready to make love. After chatting with a few people today, I understood that it was too fast a move to make for them. I mean, it's been like 2 or 3 weeks since she had been raped and I don't think that it would be realistic for her to be ready for anything sinful so soon without it being a traumatic experience. Like "oh, don't worry, go ahead, the choice to tell you about my injuries had been taken from me during chapter 7 when you saw me naked and I almost did a panic attack, but just let's go all the way!" it doesn't seem right. Plus, Kagome needs mental, physical and emotional recovery, not sin just because I'm dying to make it happen. This fanfiction is the story of recovery, of how people who are close heal each other, not the story of how Inuyasha got into Kagome's pants... Plus, it will give me the chance to make her recover slowly, so the story will last longer ;) 
> 
> What do you think?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter, just an important information.

Good news everybody! 

From now on, this fanfiction will be beta-read by a marvelous person who helps me to do better updates. This kind person goes by the name "RevolverOtaconAj2" and very soon I'll update the first chapters he reviewed probably tomorrow evening. This will not change the plot of the story, but I'm confident it will strengthen it. 

Also, the next chapter is on its way, don't worry. I'm working very hard on it. 

Take care and stay awesome!


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